Nashville star Hayden Panettiere is opening up about her abusive relationship in her past and how forgiveness and healing go hand-in-hand.

Panettiere, 32, dated Brian Hickerson, 33, on and off for about four years, starting in 2018. The actress also had a heavy addiction to alcohol and opioids during their relationship.

“It was a very dark and complicated time in my life,” Panettiere told to People. “But a lot of women go through what I went through, and I want people to know it’s ok to ask for help.”

“I wanted to party, I wanted to do everything I wasn’t supposed to do,” she recalled. “Acting was my life, but I felt so bad about myself that I lost trust in myself. And that is very detrimental. The idea of not having a responsibility was very appealing at the time.”

Hickerson was charged with domestic violence and she issued a protective order in May 2019, but the charges were dropped. The couple rekindled a few months later, then in July 2020, Hickerson was arrested on eight domestic violence charges.

He pled no contest to two felony counts of injuring a partner and spent 13 days in jail. The rest of the charges were dropped.

Following Hickerson’s arrest, Panettiere released a statement: “I am coming forward with the truth about what happened to me in the hope that my story will empower others in abusive relationships to get the help they need and deserve. I am prepared to do my part to make sure this man never hurts anyone again.”

Last March, the pair were seen together in Los Angeles when a public altercation broke out. “It was not my best behavior, it was not anyone’s best behavior,” she said of the incident. “But it was not as insane as it was made to look, and everyone is ok.”

While their relationship as a couple was turbulent, they reconnected as friends. “I am open to people who are willing to get help and make amends. He’s gone to treatment and done his time. And I’m trying to live in a place of forgiveness,” she said.

Panettiere is now sober after months of trauma therapy and inpatient treatment. She is focused on her upcoming role in the next Scream movie, and her work with her charity Hoplon International, whose mission is to raise funds to support Ukraine amidst war.

“I think [Brian] has done his time and was willing to get help. I think about the things I have done in my life that people forgave me for. Making amends is a really important thing that you learn in treatment,” she said. “And it gives you a lot of inner peace.”

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