Video games often boast that they give the player a variety of ways to get to their end goal, yet rarely is this the case, especially without some form of violence. Undertale took a stab at creating a game focused on nonviolence, yet most play throughs end up with Frisk killing at least one character. Games are goal-centric and, even in fantasy worlds, there are only so many options one can provide. More often than not, all scripted events remain the same no matter what conversational options you choose. Games like Fallout, Persona, and Mass Effect cannot change the fact that, despite the many conversational options, the final boss requires a final battle. Only life simulators like The Sims and Animal Crossing or puzzle games like Bejeweled seem to be mostly violence free. Or so we thought.

Oh… Sir! is a turn-based strategy “fighting game” where the player attempts to beat the opponent as badly as possible by using insults. This insult simulator gives both participants a health bar, signature insults, and a shared board of words. Players choose one phrase at a time, such as “your mother,” and the selected phrase is then unavailable to the other player. These phrases are selected until nothing is left or until both players have decided where to end their sentences. Sassy nouns, verbs, and adjectives help raise the damage the sentences will do. Using the same phrases, is you are given the option, results in that word being affected by a damage multiplier; this means you will do exponentially more damage if you keep using that word if you’re lucky enough to find it again.

If a sentence is constructed inefficiently, it will do no damage, so children playing this game are bound to learn something besides rad insults. As for other aesthetics, the music isn’t all that great, merely pushing the “gentlemanly fisticuffs in the 1940s” theme. The art style is unique, making up for the nearly nonexistent animation. The voice acting isn’t stellar either but it gets the job done, characters often talking in an almost YouTubePoop style. The characters, on the other hand, are a treat, examining stereotypical characters and creating personalities through their weaknesses and signature phrases.

The premise comes with consequences as slowly choosing the same words over and over again proves to be a lengthy and boring process. Online multiplayer is an available option, yet all victories are entirely dependent on who goes first, the number of conjunctions, and an overall luck of the draw. The story mode, while the only way to gain characters and environments, isn’t compelling in the slightest. The story is actually quite repetitive, and no matter how funny it is that a ripoff Morgan Freeman voices God, I found that every time I made it to the Heaven level I wanted to shoot myself in the skull a second time, as long as we’re talking about repetition.

Nevertheless, this game is wholesome, unlike my sense of humor. When you beat the final boss, he gives you advice on how to find meaning in your life. Swear words are nonexistent, yet their replacements often retain the harshness of their meaning. This indie game is a hidden gem among hundreds of imitations of worn-out ideas. By far the strongest game up Good Shepard Entertainment’s arsenal, the project deserves more than a 3/5 average in most sites. When it comes to talking out your problems, no game does it better than Oh… Sir! The Insult Simulator. Unless, of course, you wanted to beat the game by being a kind person. The gaming industry is still working on the kindness options, we’ll get back to you on that.