The long wait is over. Simon Cowell has returned to television after his American Idol departure, bringing his wily wit and his sweetheart sidekick, Paula Abdul, along with him to television's latest talent extravaganza, The X Factor. And FOX's new hopeful flagship proved every bit the spectacle it promised to be, thanks in part to competitor named Geo Godly.

Wednesday night's two-hour premiere started off with a bang, as the first ever X Factor (USA) contestant, Rachel Crow, a 13-year-old girl with shaggy curls, belted out her rendition of Duffy's "Mercy." Crow set the tone of the season by not only showcasing what X Factor has that Amerian Idol doesn't — namely, younger contestants and a live audience for auditions — but also establishing a kind of feel-good vibe that focuses on people's backstories. Crow's, for example, is that her six-person family lives in a two-bedroom house, and what she wants more than anything is her own bathroom. After Abdul exclaimed that Crow "blew us away" and Cowell predicted that "we're going to hear a lot about you," he told the young girl to "get ready for a new bathroom."

And there were more adorable moments on the two-hour premiere, which also featured Stacy Francis, a 42-year-old single mom who has been down on her luck and her talents for years. After she wowed the audience with her performance of "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman," she received spirited applause and a bona fide X Factor standing ovation, even from the judges. "I've done this a long, long time," acknowledged Cowell as Francis openly wept on stage, realizing she'd done a stellar job. "And that was one of the best auditions I have ever heard in my life."

The "good" in a premiere must be taken with both the "bad" and the "ugly," and X Factor didn't fail to deliver both in abundance. One Siameze Floyd got the dubious distinction of being dubbed "deluded" by the ever-delicate Cowell, before he was inexplicably passed along to the next round. An octogenarian gentleman and his wife received the expected sarcastic comments after their version of "Unchained Melody" crackled through the room, and the 43-year-old Godley dropped his pants onstage, at the first audition judged by the new Nicole Sherzinger, who replaced the first X Factor's Cheryl Cole. Like, right then. Record producer and newbie L.A. Reid called the stunt "disgusting," as demonstrated by Abdul's beeline to the bathroom to be sick.

In other X Factor news, it turns out that the winner will walk away with a handsome $5 million record contract, and … did someone say handsome? Ah, yes, turns out that Welsh host Steve Jones may have looks on his side, but is seriously lacking in the charm department. According to critics, he's no Ryan Seacrest.

Watch the clip of Godly flash the audience here:

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