Saturday Night Live this weekend featured Woody Harrelson as the host and hip-hop artist Kendrick Lamar on the mic.

Cold Open

This week’s topical political cold open featured Jay Pharoah’s Barack Obama and Taran Killam’s Mitch McConnell chatting over Kentucky Bourbon. As the booze continues to flow, the two grow more and more amicable and even prank call Hillary Clinton about the Publisher’s Clearinghouse. When she calls back, the two shriek with fright.

Harrelson’s Monologue

For his monologue, Harrelson started off saying he knows more about 1989 than Taylor Swift – though it’s a little foggy because of the drugs. He had a mullet, something happened with the Berlin wall. The ditty was interrupted when Harrlson’s Hunger Games costars Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth popped by. They reveal that Harrelson told them that the Berlin Wall was taken down by the Kool-Aid man and that Saddam Hussein invented Wi-Fi. Jennifer Lawrence, “the real Taylor Swift right here,” also made n appearance and flubbed up a joke about Harrelson’s pot smoking.

 

Match’d

A dating show hosted by Harrelson’s Jerry Jermaine featured three guys vying for the affections of an 18-year-old woman who says, “I’m horny as hell and here to fix that.” The men all make promises about being the horniest of them all and able to fulfill her needs. When they find out she’s Harrelson’s daughter, they immediately shift to being dad-friendly. Pre-written poems, however, weren’t edited and their “moment alone” brought back the crudeness.

A New Day

Playing off of New York City’s recent passing of a law that legalizes having 25 grams of marijuana on one’s person, A New Day featured Pete Davidson as a New Yorker enjoying the liberation. He walks outside with his bag of marijuana, and  Harrelson’s pot head wields a bong and shouts, “free at last.” As a horde of pot smokers walk down the street in victory, the catch is revealed: You’ll still get arrested for lighting up.

Halftime Speech

At halftime, a high school football team is struggling to have any success after new league-wide concussion rules have been implemented. Tackling is now described as “like a prince putting a princess to bed.” Players also carry pen lights to check out the player after he’s on the ground. Keenan Thompson plays a football player who never had these rules. He’s boasting about the days when hard hitting was encouraged and tells the young men to get rougher out there, however, concussions have left him incapable of stringing a coherent sentence together. Before the team hits the field again, they throw on helmets so big they look like bobble-head dolls.

Young Tarts and Old Farts

An advertisement for a compilation CD Young Tarts and Old Farts shows the duet pairings of older singers and younger entertainers. Lionel Richie and Ariana Grande, Barry Manilow and Kendrick Lamar, Macklemore and Diana Ross, who snarls “I invented gay people,” when he begins singing “Same Love.” Megan Trainer and BB King are a team, as well as Aretha Franklin and Robin and old soul Lorde and Miley Cyrus.

Weekend update

Michael Che and Colin Jost opened up with a bit about Kim Kardashian’s Paper cover. People looking to get in on the open enrollment on healthcare.gov might have some trouble, according to the anchors, “Because someone broke the internet.” Relationship expert Leslie Jones stopped by to chat about the woman stalker who snuck in through the chimney. Matthew McConaughey (Killam) and Woody Harrelson also talked about True Detective season 1.

Old New York

Four disgruntled middle-aged men knock back beers and reminisce about old New York, where they liked the food and the general atmosphere. Harrelson’s character, joining in on the gripe-fest, only really has one issue with new New York city – the crack shortage.

Camp Fire Songs

Once again Harrelson is the star of the sketch, playing his guitar for his friends who’ve gathered around the campfire. He’s certain that his friends know the song about apples that he’s singing. Verse after verse, they all maintain they’ve never heard it before. In a fit of creative despair, he tosses his guitar and his pick into the nearby lake. As it turns out, they all knew the song and were waiting for the last verse to join him.

Last Call

Harrelson and Kate McKinnon created a dream team in Last Call as the last two people in a bar who reluctantly decide to make a play for one another. “I replaster unpopular glory holes!” McKinnon says enthusiastically when Harrelson asks what she does for a living. The two then engage in a cellophane-prophylactic make out session.

Kendrick Lamar

Kendrick Lamar performed “Pay for It” and “I”.

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Article by Chelsea Regan

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