Any Jersey Shore initiate will tell you that the drama comes in waves, but lately the ocean has been pretty calm. Vinny has returned to the house after his near breakdown (he was suffering anxiety attacks, perhaps the result of excessive drinking) and the gang seems to be falling back into their old, comfortable routine of tequila shots and smushing.
Of course there’ll always be storms brewing at the Shore. Jwoww still hasn’t heard from her boyfriend, Roger, and when she does get a hold of him, he’s defensive. Roger stands her up, yet again, and Jwoww is just devastated — meaning she doesn’t really feel like dancing on tables. At the gym, the guys run into a bandanna-clad Roger, who says, mustering all his machismo, he’s not going to kiss Jwoww’s ass and if she’s waiting for him to call, she’ll be waiting for a long time. The guys agree; they admire his chauvinistic bravado.
Snooki and Deena get into trouble at work. Surprise. Because the Shore Shop is so stressful, the two “meatballs” sneak out and head to the closet source of alcohol … twice. Apparently, employers don't approve of boozing on the clock and now Deena is afraid they’ll get fired and have to leave the house. Doubtful.
But the perfect storm has yet to come. The Situation is starting to get paranoid; everyone is out to get him. In last week’s episode, he revealed his suspicions to the rest of the house in a rather pathetic display and much to the befuddlement of the gang. His continued mantra, “I’ve been the nice guy and now everyone’s stepping on me, so I’ll be the bad guy,” reeks of delusional desperation. I think he’s on steroids, personally. He’s constantly seen popping zits on his chest, and now mood swings? Eventually it will boil over and The Situation will do something that will make everyone hate him even more. Honestly, who needs The Situation? He just lies in bed and pouts, a perpetual downer.
In other news, Vinny tries to bed a lesbian but settles for a “backburner” babe, a five or six at best. Pauly D has a stalker, a strange lady with an airbrushed “Pauly D” hat who mysteriously pops up along the boardwalk. Oh, and Snooki stumbles home from the club and swears off drinking before passing out. Could it be? The Jersey Shore producers hope not.
—MATTHEW ZINGG
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Read more here:
RECAP: Vinny Leaves 'Jersey Shore'
Will Jersey Shore Survive Without The Situation? Please No!
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