Last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey saw the ladies taking a successful weekend trip to the spa to mend Teresa and Jacqueline’s fractured relationship. Despite an awkward start, the weekend went off without a hitch and Tre and Jac were back on the fast track to becoming friends again. This week the ladies are back to reality and continue on with their daily lives.

RHONJ Season 7 Episode 8 Recap: All Bets are Off

The episode opens up with Jacqueline describing the weekend getaway to husband Chris and daughter Ashley. Jacqueline was pleasantly surprised with how well she and Teresa got along, and described Teresa as a whole new person.  In his interview Chris states how Jacqueline and Teresa are back on track with their friendship, but all it will take is one stupid remark from either of the two ladies to bring them back to a dark place (foreshadowing?).

In a heartbreaking scene, Siggy visits Dolores with flowers over the loss of Dolores’ dog Boo. Boo suffered from kidney failure and was wasting away so Dolores’ family decided to euthanize him. Dolores loved Boo deeply and has trouble sleeping at night ever since he passed. I can completely empathize with Dolores’ heartbreak and feel myself slipping into a deep depression that only a gratuitous shot of Frankie’s abs can cure.

With his prison sentence fast approaching Juicy Joe has been drinking a lot more and that is causing a lot of tension between him and his family. Teresa says Joe is acting just like his father which incites a few angry remarks from her husband. Joe threatens to “smack Teresa’s head up against a wall” if she brings up his father again and then tells her that he is only going to miss the kids and not her, while he is in prison (charming).

Next, it’s poker night at the Laurita household where Chris, Joe Gorga, Rosie, Pete and Joe Giudice are to drink and play cards. Rosie is eager to see Joe Giudice because the two spent a lot of time together while Teresa was in prison, but haven’t seen each other since she’s been released. Juicy Joe cancels on poker night because he is hungover in bed which causes Rosie to storm off and leave. After a few moments to clear her head, Rosie returns. She realizes that Joe is going through a lot right now with his impending prison sentence and her heart feels heavy for him.

The ladies all head to Teresa’s launch party for her new book “Turning the Tables.” The event is 21 and over which is why Gia could not attend. Despite this, Joe invites a friend of his and his twelve year old son who was subsequently turned away at the door. Plus Joe’s friend is a convicted felon which jeopardizes Teresa’s parole because she is not allowed to be around other convicted felons.

As the housewives all celebrate Teresa (even my girl Dorinda from RHONY is there), Joe is outside trying to calm down his irate friend who claims that nothing, not even the mob or the government, can stop him.  Something eventually stops Joe’s very large friend and Joe is able to return to the party just in time to hear that Teresa’s book has reached the number two spot on the New York Times’ Best Sellers list. Despite the drama and stress surrounding Joe and his upcoming prison sentence the episode ends on a high note as Teresa’s family and friends celebrate her newfound success.

 

Housewives Side Notes:

Teresa:

  • Still thinks “rerenovating” is a word.
  • Dyed her dog Bella pink.
  • Is higher than the Pope on the New York Times’ Best Sellers list.
  • Gia thinks Joe needs to go to prison to get his shit together.

Jacqueline:

  • Wasn’t Wacky Jacky this episode.
  • Chris is glad his family isn’t as f&$%ed up as the Gorga and Giudice families.
  • When Nick wants bacon, he’s going to go get that damn bacon.

Melissa:

  • Is a size 0. – bitch.
  • Her business partner Jackie selects clothes for Envy without consulting her.

Dolores:

  • Refers to her ex-husband as her bookkeeper.
  • Needs to spend more time at the gym she opened.
  • We didn’t get to see any Frankie this week. –I’m mad.

Siggy:

  • Drove over a trash can and didn’t even notice.
  • Is loud because she was born in a bomb shelter.
  • The last thing she wants is for any of her girlfriends to have to depend on a man. – MY QUEEN.
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