Paula Abdul, 46, is coming clean about her past addiction to pain killers. "I could have killed myself," Abdul admits to Ladies' Home Journal. "Withdrawal – it's the worst thing." Abdul checked herself into the La Costa Resort and Spa last November and overcame her dependency. "I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then chattering and in so much pain, it was excruciating." American Idol judge got hooked on meds to fight pain from her years as a dancer and a neck injury sustained in a 1993 plane crash. (Photo: WENN)