Categories: News

Obama’s 11 Best Jokes At White House Correspondents Dinner

At the White House Correspondents dinner Saturday night, in keeping with tradition, President Barack Obama took to the podium to deliver some stand-up comedy.

Obama’s 11 Best Jokes

1. Hillary Clinton: “I had a friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and now she’s living out of a van in Iowa.”

2. Senate Democrats: “Today, thanks to Obamacare, you don’t have to worry about losing your insurance if you lose your job. You’re welcome, Senate Democrats.”

3. Blackish TV Show: “Being ‘Blackish’ only makes you popular for so long.”

4.  White Hair: “I look so old John Boehner’s already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.”

5. Michele Bachmann: “Michele Bachmann predicted I would bring about the Biblical end of days. Now that’s big. … Lincoln, Washington — they didn’t do that.”

6. Bucket List: Obama said he’s asked, ” ‘Do you have a bucket list?’ I say, well I have something that rhymes with bucket.”

7. Michelle Obama: “I ask her her secret [for looking great]. She says, ‘Fresh fruits and vegetables.’ It’s aggravating.”

8. Being Muslim: “Being president isn’t easy, I still have to fix a broken immigration system, issue veto threats, and [negotiate with Iran], all while praying five times a day.”

9. Joe Biden:  “Those Joe Biden shoulder massages are like magic. You should try one.” [Pause.] “Oh, you have?”He added, “We’ve gotten so close, in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.”

10: Bernie Sanders: “Apparently people really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all.”

11. Dick Cheney: “Dick Cheney said I’m the worst president of his lifetime, which is interesting, because I think he’s the worst president of my lifetime,” the president sai

 

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Chelsea Regan

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