At the White House Correspondents dinner Saturday night, in keeping with tradition, President Barack Obama took to the podium to deliver some stand-up comedy.

Obama’s 11 Best Jokes

1. Hillary Clinton: “I had a friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and now she’s living out of a van in Iowa.”

2. Senate Democrats: “Today, thanks to Obamacare, you don’t have to worry about losing your insurance if you lose your job. You’re welcome, Senate Democrats.”

3. Blackish TV Show: “Being ‘Blackish’ only makes you popular for so long.”

4.  White Hair: “I look so old John Boehner’s already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.”

5. Michele Bachmann: “Michele Bachmann predicted I would bring about the Biblical end of days. Now that’s big. … Lincoln, Washington — they didn’t do that.”

6. Bucket List: Obama said he’s asked, ” ‘Do you have a bucket list?’ I say, well I have something that rhymes with bucket.”

7. Michelle Obama: “I ask her her secret [for looking great]. She says, ‘Fresh fruits and vegetables.’ It’s aggravating.”

8. Being Muslim: “Being president isn’t easy, I still have to fix a broken immigration system, issue veto threats, and [negotiate with Iran], all while praying five times a day.”

9. Joe Biden:  “Those Joe Biden shoulder massages are like magic. You should try one.” [Pause.] “Oh, you have?”He added, “We’ve gotten so close, in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.”

10: Bernie Sanders: “Apparently people really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all.”

11. Dick Cheney: “Dick Cheney said I’m the worst president of his lifetime, which is interesting, because I think he’s the worst president of my lifetime,” the president sai

 

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