Michael Phelps has opened up to Sports Illustrated about the shame he felt following his 2014 DUI arrest.

Michael Phelps Opening Up About 2014 DUI ARREST

The 18-time Olympic gold medalist, who through four successive Olympics cemented his status as superhero sportsman, ran afoul of the law back in September of last year when he was pulled over at 1:40 a.m. while driving from a Baltimore casino to his home. Phelps’s white 2014 Range Rover was caught doing 84 mph in a 45-mph zone, and appeared erratic on the road. A police report obtained by The Baltimore Sun showed Phelps had failed two field-sobriety­ tests and a breathalyzer put his blood-alcohol level at .14, above the state driving limit of .08. The athlete was charged with with DUI, excessive speed and crossing double lane lines.

Looking back on the events leading up to the incident and the pressures he felt Phelps said,

“I lived in a bubble for a long time. After ’08, mentally, I was over. I didn’t want to do it anymore. But I also knew I couldn’t stop. So I forced myself to do something that I really didn’t want to do, which was continue swimming. That whole four-year period, I would miss at least two workouts a week. Why? Didn’t want to go. Didn’t feel like going. Screw it. I’m going to sleep in. I’m going to skip Friday and go for a long weekend.”

Following the media firestorm that ensued Phelps said, “I was in a really dark place. Not wanting to be alive anymore.”

His team quickly intervened, however, and the 29-year-old agreed to a stint in rehab. Phelps spent 45 days at The Meadows rehabilitation facility, addressing his problems with alcohol abuse and said of the experience, “It’s probably the most afraid I’ve ever felt in my life…It was tough. But it was great.”

The singer returned to his training post-rehab reinvigorated and is now gearing towards the 2016 Rio Olympics which he promises will be his last.

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