“I often wonder if I chose the wrong life for myself. And the weight of it is suffocating,” the pop singer Halsey said in an open and vulnerable Instagram story which was posted this week.

The “Gasoline” singer will be turning 28 at the end of September, which prompted them to reflect a little bit according to this post. Halsey is almost done with a massive U.S. and Europe tour with only about two more shows left.

Halsey began the story by speaking to a deep “loneliness” and “emptiness” they are feeling “that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch.”

The singer also expressed worry that her “melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn’t served a greater purpose than my own self loathing.”

The singer also said, “I hope to find my way somewhere meaningful soon so that I can give you the guts I’ve always known to scoop heapings of into your ears.”

Having such a heavy touring schedule can be extremely draining both physically and mentally for musicians. This has likely exacerbated Halsey’s recent health issues, including diagnoses of endometriosis, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and POTS, which causes an increased heart rate while standing.

Music artists also have to tour more and more nowadays, because concert ticket and merchandise sales are where most musicians make the majority of their money.

Halsey’s last album, If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power, was produced by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross of Nine Inch Nails and premiered to positive reviews.

Read more about: