'Game Of Thrones' Recap: Tyrion Marries Sansa, Dany’s Army Grows

Game of Thrones “The Honeymooners” had a narrower focus than some of the previous episodes this season, focusing almost exclusively on the storylines of Tyrion (Peter Dinklage), Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) and the young Arya Stark (Maisie Williams).

It started off in the woods with Arya awakening and wielding a large rock with which she plans to bludgeon her captor, The Hound (Rory McCann). He opens his eyes before she can strike him and says, “I'll give you one try, girl. Kill me and you're free. But if I live, I'll break both your hands." Wisely deciding not to try her luck, she drops the rock. As it turns out, The Hound doesn’t wish to harm the youngest Stark daughter. Instead, he plans to return her to her mother (Michelle Fairley) and brother Robb (Richard Madden) at her uncle's wedding to the Frey girl in exchange for a sum.

Outside the Yunkai walls, Daenerys continues to search for a way inside. The Yunkai have hired the Second Sons, a sellsword company whose numbers and capabilities would make it significantly more difficult for her to take the city. She arranges a meeting with their leader, Titan’s Bastard. Much as his moniker would seem to indicate, he’s a rude and crass individual that after comparing her to a prostitute he once knew, requests a full view of her naked body to see if she’d be worth fighting for. Daario, one of his lieutenants, already looks taken by The Dragon Queen.

When the Second Sons return to their tent, they debate the pleasures of whoring. Daario reveals himself to be opposed to paying for sex, preferring to sleep with women who want to have sex with him. He also avers that he fights only for beauty, and thus, only when he so desires. After Titan’s Bastard insists that they draw coins to decide who will slip into Dany’s camp to murder her, it’s Daario who draws the coin to kill. He arrives while Dany is bathing, and holds her translator Missandei with a knife at her throat. After they both promise not to scream, he releases her and reveals the heads of both of his superiors. Apparently, Daario was won over by her beauty and took it upon himself to pledge the Second Sons loyalty to her.

At King’s Landing, Tyrion makes a well-intentioned effort to comfort Sansa (Sophie Turner) about their pending nuptials, after sending a disgruntled Shae out of the room. "I didn't ask for this … you won't be a prisoner after today, you will be my wife." Then he adds, "I suppose that's a different kind of prison." Meanwhile, Cersei (Lena Headey) and Margaery (Natalie Dormer) walk amiably arm-in-arm in the Sept of Baelor. Margaery, feeling unduly comfortable and confident with the steely Lannister woman, suggests that the marriages to come will make them sisters of a certain kind. After creating a horrifying parallel between the Tyrell’s and the last second-richest family to grasp for greater power, Cersei seethes, “You ever call me sister again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.” Margaery looks appropriately frightened.

The wedding that follows is all manners of awkwardness. First of all, the evil-veined Joffrey (Jack Gleeson), who had Sansa’s father killed, takes the role of jauntily walking her down the aisle. He then swipes Tyrion’s stool, thereby forcing him to whisper at Sansa to ask her to kneel so he could place the marriage cloak over her shoulders. At the reception that follows, Tyrion is embracing the label of a drunkard, sloshing wine about in his goblet. Tywin (Charles Dance) approaches him to remind him that he needs to put a child into Sansa, and shouldn’t be too drunk to perform.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, Joffrey, after threatening to rape Sansa when Tyrion’s asleep, declares that there must be a public bedding ceremony. Tyrion’s response? He drives a knife into the table and threatens his king nephew, shouting, “Then you’ll be f—king your own bride with a wooden c—k.“ Thankfully, Tywin is there to defuse Joffrey, and Tyrion is sensible enough to concede it was nothing by a silly joke by his impish drunk uncle who's not so well-endowed. When Tyrion and Sansa do walk off to the bedchamber, the 14-year-old begins to disrobe. It appears as though Tyrion considers obliging his father’s wishes, but the better man inside him wins out. "I won't share your bed … not until you want me to," Tyrion says. When Shae (Sibel Kekilli) comes the next morning with breakfast and to take the sheets, she smirks when she realizes they’re clean.

Meanwhile, Stannis (Stephen Dillane) contemplates the murder of Robert’s bastard Gendry (Joe Dempsie), and allows Melisandra (Carice van Houten) to seduce the young man with food, wine and sex. After she straps him to the bed she subjects him to blood-letting by leaches. However, it appears as though the ill treatment will stop there, as a visit to Davos (Liam Cunningham) in the dungeons convinces Stannis against killing his nephew by blood. The would-be king also decides to release Davos. And, North of the Wall, the hapless Samwell (John Bradley) is put to the test when a White Walker threatens Gilly (Hannah Murray) and her baby. When his sword crumbles in the White Walker’s hands who continues on for the inbred baby, Sam chases after him with a shard of dragonglass and jabs it into the creatures back. The White Walker splinters like ice.

Game of Thrones will return Sunday, June 2 on HBO at 9/8c with its penultimate episode of the season.

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