The “Ring of Fire” solar eclipse that left an unconfirmed 38 million West Coast Americans blind had a less damaging effect on the East Coast, where people are too smart ever to look directly at the sun. (OK, we know that's a fantasy lead to this story — but we can't help but be bitter over here in New York City, it's sort of our thing.)

Here are ten funny tweets about that miraculous thing you call an “eclipse” and what we like to refer to as “just a shadow”:

1. “Twilight fans, I hear if you look at the #eclipse tonight you'll see vampires and werewolves frolicking. Or go blind. Whichever.” —@Lord_Voldemort7

2. “@Lord_Voldemort7 There's an eclipse tonight?! I'm lacking in the astrology section lately.” —@Wolfmanxcawthon

3. “If you thought the solar eclipse was cool, come visit North Korea. The lights have been out here for 60 years.” —@KimJongNumberUn

4. “I didn't look at the solar eclipse because I was looking at something more beautiful created by mother nature… the mirror” —@blyth33s

5. “I missed seeing the solar eclipse, but I’ll be sure to catch the Garry Marshall ensemble romantic comedy about it.” —@Rosenthaltweets

6. “ok, so it appears that the eclipse was not a portent of the apocalypse. unless…what if it's a subtle apocalypse? it's possible.” —@thelittleidiot

7. “Is it bad that instead of just going outside I'm watching photo updates of the eclipse on instagram?” —@DramaBeats

8. “People, stop posting pictures of the Mitsubishi Eclipse! That car should have died in the 90s. Well most of them did. #CrankWalk #CarGuyJoke” —@SmoshIan

9. “Tan Mom must be pissed this eclipse is blocking some of her light.” —@EliBraden

10. “The solar eclipse is “amazing,” reports People With No Lives Magazine.” —@BorowitzReport

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