Cathroina White, who had been Jim Carrey‘s on-and-off girlfriend prior to her death, had addressed the actor in her suicide note.

Cathroina White’s Suicide Note

White, who was 30 when she took her own life, indicated that she was in despair over her breakup with Carrey in her suicide note, which was obtained by TMZ. In the note that was addressed to Carrey, White wrote, “I’ve spent 3 days now in disbelief that you’re not here. I can go on brokenhearted and try to put the pieces back. I could, I just don’t have the will this time. I’m sorry you felt I wasn’t there for you. I tried to give you my best part.”

“I don’t really know about burial or that sort of thing. You are my family so whatever you choose will be fine,” White added. “Please forgive me. I’m just not for this world.”

White had intentionally overdosed on a number of prescription medications in September 2015. According to official documents, some of those pills may have been prescribed to Carrey. A text message on her phone from Carrey shows that he had been missing certain pills that he had been prescribed for his back, and that he wondered whether or not she had taken them.

Upon learning of her death last fall, Carrey had released a touching statement, mourning White’s passing.

“I am shocked and deeply saddened by the passing of my sweet Cathriona,” Carrey told Us Weekly in a statement at the time. “She was a truly kind and delicate Irish flower, too sensitive for this soil, to whom loving and being loved was all that sparkled. My heart goes out to her family and friends and to everyone who loved and cared about her. We have all been hit with a lightning bolt.”

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