The two-hour premiere of ABC's much-hyped, Spielberg-produced, "found footage" horror show The River has come and gone, and with it a deluge of hash tags, exclamation marks, ellipses and question marks, with a few meaningful letters and numbers squeezed in for good measure. We're talking about Twitter, where you may not get a scientific or unbiased account of how well a show is doing (the ratings for The River turned out to be modest, according to but you can piece together something like a consensus.

So what did the Twitterati think of The River? We'll let them tell you:

1. "The River = Paranormal Activity on a Boat." —Jordan King

2. "Started watching The River tonight. Stopped watching The River tonight." —Tony Thaxton

3. "The River was ok but it made me realize there's a lot of people losing and finding footage." —Justin Stangel

4. "If #TheRiver had any character development AT ALL I might care that a monster is out to kill these folks. As it stands, I'm on Team Monster." —Julie Hammerle

5. "Steven Spielberg has identified the scariest thing known to man: Dolls in the woods. #TheRiver" —Karen Dalton Beninato

6. "These are the worst eco-explorers ever. 'Let's steal from this shrine! Let's desecrate this grave! Why are the spirits mad at us?' #TheRiver" —Abby Zidle

7. "My wife Aimee just scared the junk outta me by hiding a doll under my covers……not cool. #TheRiver" —Mac Powell

8. "Call me crazy but THE RIVER missed a big opportunity by not having Billy Joel provide a theme song. #inthemiddleofthenight" —Robert Saucedo

9. "Biggest mystery on #TheRiver: what happened to all of the bugs, animals, and indigenous people of the Amazon?" —TV Without Pity

10. "The River was like LOST in the same way that Michael Keaton's clones were like him in Multiplicity." —Jensen Karp

Watch a clip from The River here: