Ex-reality star Heidi Montag recently reflected back on her plastic surgery marathon back in 2009 that almost had a fatal ending.

A little less than a decade ago, Montag asked Dr. Frank Ryan to give her a chin reduction, brow-lifts, ear pinnings, a second rhinoplasty and a second breast augmentation, as well as several other body enhancements.

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Montag tells Paper Magazine how she thought that she was not going to make it through the procedures and how she had her husband Spencer Pratt‘s support through it all.

“Spencer thought he lost me. I died for a minute. With that much surgery, I had to have 24-hour nurse care and Spencer didn’t want to leave my side. I was at a recovery center and had Demerol to deal with the pain because it was so extreme,” Heidi explained. “My security guards called Spencer and told him, ‘Heidi’s heart stopped. She’s not going to make it.’ And I easily could’ve. Cutting yourself up isn’t something I’d recommend, and Demerol isn’t anything to play around with. That’s how Michael Jackson died.”

Her near death experience caused Montag to reflect about her decisions and realize all the mistakes her younger self made, in the end it pushed her to become a better person and understand what she saw as important in life.

“A lot of positive things came out of that. I had to look at myself in the mirror every day healing, and be like, ‘What did I do to myself? How did I get here? What is going on?’ I basically had to hit that rock-bottom moment in my life, to realize what was important to me.”

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She feels as if she has become a new person since leaving The Hills. Just last year she and Pratt welcomed their first child Gunner Pratt. After becoming a mom, she doesn’t recognize who she used to be and can’t believe she risked her “own life for vanity.” Now her main focusing is her family, finally fulfilling her dream of being a mom and wife.

“I’ve always wanted a family. I’ve been with Spencer for 11 years now, so I told him, ‘You had me alone for 10 straight years.’ We have a great marriage, and it was the perfect time for us to move into this next chapter,” she said. “The most sleep I get is two hours—sometimes three. I’m usually up every hour with Gunner; it’s really intense. Gunner’s given me a whole new strength that I didn’t know. I feel like I am stronger than I’ve ever been emotionally. At the end of the day, I’m his mom, and that’s my main priority.”

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