Who Should Replace Simon Cowell?

Rumors have been swirling about who should replace Simon Cowell ever since the sharp-tongued Brit announced he was leaving American Idol for a US-version of X-Factor, and Howard Stern has been the focus of those rumors recently. Stern’s contract with Sirius XM Radio expires in January of next year, and he’s been openly discussing his interest in taking over Cowell’s seat at the AI judges’ table on his radio show.

Many people are speculating that Stern is being considered because people will tune in to watch the tension between he and the other judges, particularly Ellen DeGeneres. I suspect that both AI executives and Stern are enjoying the publicity they’re receiving because of the rumors, but that there is no real interest in such an agreement on either part. Let’s face it: the people that love American Idol do not listen to Howard Stern and would probably not receive him well. And the people who love Howard Stern might watch American Idol at first, but are they really going to be converted into long-term viewers of what is essentially a glorified karaoke show with nary a midget stripper in sight? I think it’s far more likely, and sensible, that that AI execs will go with a successful music producer like Rodney Jenkins or someone along those lines. There is, however, also the possibility that they could go with a big name, and bearing that in mind, I’d like make a few suggestions:

1. Russell Brand. Russell is like a more palatable, mainstream version of Howard Stern. He has shock-value, comedic and radio experience, and even similar unkempt dark hair, but he’s also known for his charming personality, and has left his most debaucherous days in the past as a reformed heroin addict and alcoholic. And we all know that American Idol loves a good backstory. Music Experience? Well, he played a rockstar in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and is engaged to pop star Katy Perry, which is more than I can say for Ellen. Bonus points for being British.

2. Gene Simmons. As the lead singer and bassist of Kiss, one of the most famous and successful rock bands in history, Gene is qualified to judge the contestants’ performances and musicianship. Simmons has also become something of a reality show pro in recent years; he created and hosted Oxygen’s Mr. Romance, starred alongside his family in A&E’s Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels, and helped school kids form a rockband in Rock School. In fact, he’s even guest judged on American Idol twice before, so he has somewhat of a relationship with the show.

3. Diddy. I don’t think this really needs and explanation. Being that he is a music producer, rapper, reality show star, and household name, scoring Diddy as a judge is probably the unattainable dream of AI execs. As we’ve seen on Making the Band, Diddy does not mince words if you disappoint him, and he’ll drop you if you don’t deliver. The question is, is it conceivable that the man could fit AI into his busy album recording, TV shooting, cologne producing schedule?