What I Learned From Britney

If I have learned anything from Britney Spears over the last ten years or so, it’s that international fame can be stressful. It can cause you to spontaneously shave your head, drive with your baby on your lap, and attack the paparazzi with your umbrella. However, these incidents happened to Britney within a certain dark and troubled period of a few years, and future judgment of the still-young singer should not be based on them.

The year 2009 has been much kinder to Britney. She regained partial custody of her two children and was even voted the best celebrity mother in a UK poll – this is an obvious improvement over her standing in a 2007 survey from onepoll.com, where she was voted the worst celebrity mother. In addition, Britney continues to sell out shows and turn out hits. Late 2008 and 2009 have seen the releases of such catchy number ones as “Circus,” “Womanizer,” and “3,” and the controversial “If U Seek Amy” (try saying it out loud) peaked at Billboard’s number 19. This made Circus the first Britney Spears album to contain three top-twenty hits since her debut album back in 1999, …Baby One More Time. Quite a comeback.

With all of these ups and downs, it is no wonder that Britney has remained one of the most popular tabloid targets of the decade. This year, her official website, britneyspears.com, has addressed the tabloid reports with a special feature – The Year in Bulls#!t. “There were more than 13,000 stories written about Britney in 2009,” says the website. What follows are 75 headlines, culled from websites and magazines, and their accompanying stories. Number 1, clipped from mirror.co.uk, is titled “Britney Spears introduces her new Bollywood man to her parents.” This doesn’t sound nearly as sensational as number 5, which is “Jamie Spears allegedly drugging daughter Britney,” or number 56, “Britney’s biography increases squirrel meat sales,” but the headlines are apparently ranked in order of how “ridiculous” Britney’s team found them. Other items that made the cut include stories about fans walking out on shows, affairs with backup dancers, and pregnancies.

I don’t know whether or not Britney herself is behind The Year in BS (she’s probably got her hands full with the kids, and it’s the holiday season), but I have to respect the tactic her website is using. It’s a kind of reverse psychology. Instead of trying to hide all those crazy stories, embrace them and thereby gain the public’s trust. Of course, that could just be what they want us to think, but I’m inclined to give Britney the credit and wish her another successful year. A mother is never wrong.