Penn Badgley Is The Gossip Girl? That Is So Not Ok!

This week the final piece of gossip reached the viewers of Gossip Girl. Now, it's so over, for many reasons. The "truth" is finally out there. Or should I say the "lie"?

Dan Humphrey is the Gossip Girl? That is so not ok. I mean, just look at him. Has there ever been a better definition of a wannabe? If that was what the producers wanted with Dan, then actor Penn Badgley is a genius.

But do we really believe that he was the Gossip Girl all along? Not a chance. I had expected this from someone like the wonderful conniving creature Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick), and perhaps even from the blonde unpredictable and anything-but-serene Serena (Blake Lively), but not from Dan!

Dan's naive and irritatingly wholesome character has creepy similiarites to Brandon Walsh in the ancient Beverly Hills, 90210. He is the too-good-to-be-true guy. The one with the good grades and academic ambition who still gets the prom queen. Dan is cute, but not very hot, at least not in my opinion. He is an "acquired taste." If he would ever touch alcohol, he learns from the single, semi-sober experience by making a tiny, cute and easily repaired mistake, and comes out even more irritatingly wholesome on the other side. Actually, I think I even might have been that guy in a previous life, and as I recall, it wasn't that fun standing there like a wallflower at the Homecoming Dance. What demonic screenwriter has created Dan Humphrey?

Dan is, of course, the moral high ground of the entire series, together with his painfully righteous and handsome father, Rufus (Matthew Settle). Brrrr, the name in itself gives me goosebumps. I risk waking up screaming in the middle of night at the thought of his perfect, three-day stubbled jawline lingering on my retina.

I hate his character — or do I love to hate him? Nevertheless, it makes it even harder to swallow the disappointment of him being the cheeky, know-it-all Gossip Girl. It doesn't add up, or the whole series has been a lie. I suspect foul play…

Think about it. Does Dan's character really fit the description of the Gossip Girl? Aside from not being a girl at all, which, of course, is a nice cover. Could he have been selected to be the Gossip Girl from the beginning? I seriously doubt it.

Yes, he was some kind of a spider in the web of characters, mainly because he hooked up with quite a few of them during the show's run. He was a trusted guy, the one you open up to because you think he is completely harmless. You know the kind that you suspect of being too gentle in bed — too cautious to hit on a girl. The one who's more likely to end up as a friend than a lover because it's impossible to stay mad at him. In that sense, he was the perfect candidate for narcing on all the others. But then why on earth would he do it? And coming from the outside, having few friends at a new school, at the beginning of the series — how did he already then know that much gossip to throw around? And where did he get that sexy girl's voice?

The Gossip Girl's message is that of a malicious twit. Has Dorky Dan any of these characteristics in him? I really can't see it.

What was the purpose of "revealing" the Gossip Girl and destroy any chances of adding another season in the future? Not only is the secret out there for all to know, but it was a disappointing one at that which made us completely lose interest in the show. If it was Dan all along, I feel cheated. Was that the whole point? To have the last laugh? It is a little like undressing the beautiful woman you met at the club and find out that there's are man parts underneath the dress. Did they just want to get a good last laugh?

I will get to the bottom of this! I will, of course, watch the shows over again, frame by frame, from the beginning to the bitter end over the holidays to prove that Dorky Dan couldn't have been the one! Then I will take action! Or maybe I'll just let it slide. The show is over. I might get over it.