'Dancing With The Stars' Morphs Into A 'Loser'

Here we go again: Another season of Dancing With the Stars, another round of B and C and D list celebrities who discover the ancient, top secret weight loss trick of exercising eight hours a day and being too busy to eat. And just in case you were unclear whether or not it’s officially morphed into Dancing off the Pounds With the Stars, they’ve even signed up Kirstie Alley, former Jenny Craig spokeswoman and professional yo-yo dieter.

The benefits of dance are many: increased flexibility, muscle control, endurance, rhythm, confidence, and likelihood of success if challenged to a spontaneous urban dance-off. It’s great to see people of all sizes, shapes, and ages learning a fun new athletic skill. It’s fun to see celebrities out of their respective elements and hanging out with each other. But over the past few seasons, the side effect – weight loss – has taken center stage. (Pun most definitely intended.)

Tia Carrere, Kyle Massey, Jenny Garth and Marie Osmond are among the many who have made headlines for slimming down during the competition, but perhaps Kelly Osbourne, whose 40-pound loss was kick started by DWTS, is the greatest “success story” yet. Her career has taken off, and she’s suddenly a cover model and fashion icon. While it’s great that these stars are looking and feeling better, now everyone’s size, not just their dancing skills, is under public scrutiny. Remember when it was news that perfectly healthy-looking Bristol Palin stayed the same size?

Kirstie Alley, along with fellow Season 12 competitors Wendy Williams and – of all people – the already athletic Kendra Wilkinson, outlined their fitness and weight loss goals for the upcoming season to Life & Style. Wendy – inspired by Kelly Osbourne — wants to lose 20 pounds, Kendra is still talking about her pregnancy weight (which, by the way, she got rid of ages ago) and, of course, Kirstie wants to drop 30 to 40 so she can – surprise! — sell her new Organic Liason diet. Yawn.

Enough already. If I wanted to watch The Biggest Loser, I’d watch The Biggest Loser. Let’s let Dancing With the Stars concentrate on what it does best: Putting celebrities in sparkly costumes and letting them embarrass themselves on national television.