Launch My Line

If you simply cannot survive the one-month layover between seasons 6 and 7 of Project Runway then may we suggest checking out Bravo's second attempt to rip off their stolen gem. Or, upon second thought, may we not suggest it. Launch My Line has flaws like any other show on TV but their apparent need to copy its predecessor in every way, only in a slightly more modern way, ultimately just bores. We have by now seen this format beaten to death and the few minor innovations that they do throw our way (a continuously ticking clock, two hosts instead of one) are hardly enough to prevent it from feeling like an endurance test to get through.

The one change that does demand attention involves the pairing of the shows stars (aka: those who get face time during the opening theme) with so called "Experts" (aka: people who can actually sew). On one hand it makes sense and on the other it could start a mildly disturbing trend in which people can wins tons of money on, say, a clothing design show without having to actually know how to create or design clothes.

Even before we get that far, however, you will most likely be struck by that aforementioned opening theme. On a normal show, Top Chef for instance, the contestants are shown with their names next to them. Makes sense seeing as how we live in a supposedly individualistic society. But that is not how this show rolls. Instead the producers have decided to introduce them as their professions ("The Choreographer", "The Music Mogul" etc) as though they were forever trying to bury that old Fight Club adage of "You are not your job." Besides indicating that corporate America now has the power to dictate our identity to us it also allows them to lazily sidestep that whole character development part of the show.

Of all those undercooked characters the one that stands out the most is Roberto, not a real contestant but an "expert, who is a grade A drama queen that is always happy to service the camera with temper tantrums galore. This makes him the easy, obvious heel of the show. A more obscure villain is Marilyn (you may know her better as "The CEO") and not just because of the job she holds. But also because she walks around with a clear superiority complex and a deep-seated believe that there is no problem around that can't be quashed with a healthy dose of micromanagement and all-nighters.

Most of your venom, however, should be saved for the hosts DSQUARED2, lisping Italian twins straight off of whatever factory floor is responsible for gay icons these days. Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn may seem like the doldrums personified but now thanks to these two clowns we can finally recognize that they have been doing something right all these years.

When Bravo lost Project Runway to Lifetime after Season 5 they should have seized the opportunity to advance this 6-year-old format that is becoming a little long in the tooth. But why take a chance when the ticket to an easy paycheck is creating a step-by-step remake. Stop me if this sounds familiar. . .the challenge is introduced, the characters fret over said challenge, the characters execute the challenge, pause for entertaining (or not) interactions between the contestants, the host checks in and offers cryptic advice, the works are presented to the judges, winners and losers are announced, "Next time on…". Only, as with every type of copy, everything feels a wee bit lesser than. The editing feels more obvious, the drama more contrived, the interviews more scripted and the contestants well. . .dumber.

Last year Bravo gave the world the second season of their hair cutting elimination show known (to few) as Shear Genius and to this day that remains the gold standard of cringe inducing trash reality TV and, to be frank, Launch My Line doesn't even come close to that level of ineptitude. But it still should really be skipped because otherwise those suits at Bravo will get the bright idea that we will watch anything as long as it involves narcissists sitting around sewing unbearable, borderline un-wearable clothing.