If you have forgotten what happened last week on The Bachelor, here is our recap.

This week’s shortened episode of The Bachelor begins with a knock at Nick Viall’s New York City hotel room door. Remembering the last time someone knocked on his door, the bachelor probably expected an eager Corinne Olympios to be on the other side wearing a trench coat and nothing underneath.

Unfortunately for Nick, it is instead the first love – and first heartbreak– of his Bachelor franchise tenure, Andi Dorfman.

“Oh, hello, Nick,” Andi begins, “I heard you were in town and I thought I should stop by.” This is the most egregiously staged situation of this season but Nick, a consummate professional, takes it in stride and offers his ex-lover a drink.

Sipping whiskey, Andi shares her knowledge of the game and gives Nick advice about whether or not he should have sex with any of the women before the end of the show.

At some point in their conversation, Nick reveals that if he isn’t truly in love with any of the women by the end, he will go home alone – rejecting all thirty women in total. Unfortunately, the drama has dissipated. Nick’s sanity is no longer a concern of the viewer’s and there is little chance that he goes home alone.

While Andi and Nick reconnect, the remaining contestants – Raven Gates, Rachel Lindsay, Vanessa Grimaldi and Corinne – wait outside the hotel, shivering in the fall air, nervous about the rose ceremony that is about to begin.

The former lovers end their reunion with forgiving words and Nick feels safe to fall in love again. He heads downstairs to send one of the women home although there is little question of who it will be.

Nick likes Raven a lot. Nick likes Vanessa a lot too, just not as much as Raven. Rachel goes home eventually but tonight is not the night. And Corinne… how is Corinne still on this show?

Nick quickly hands a rose Raven, Vanessa, and Rachel. Corinne begins to cry and apologize to Nick for, “anything [I] did to make you upset.” Nick assures her that his decision has nothing to do with her – a line that miraculously works. It is at this point that America feels a deep shame forever hating Corinne.

After hugging for a few minutes and wishing the bachelor luck, Corinne descends into the limousine that will take her home.

Although at first she is sad, blubbery, and vulnerable, Corinne reverts back into her mean girl ways towards the end of her confessional from the car.

“I’m done trying to impress these men,” Corinne explains through slurred words. Somehow, she has a half empty glass of Champaign in her hands. While at first she was hunched over in her seat crying, she is now slouched and nearly supine. Her eyes blink slowly and her grin rests easy across her face.

Ready for a nap, Corinne closes her eyes for America one final time. Goodnight, sweet Corinne, get some rest. We all know you need it.

Next up, Finland.

Nick, who has decided to go on a date with Raven, meets her at the top of a mountain in Lapland, Finland. They fly off together in a helicopter while Nick pretends to still get excited by helicopter rides.

At a pub, they flirt and drink and begin to discuss the merits of ironing vs. the merits of steaming. While boring to us, they do seem to be falling in love.

Not having reached a consensus on how to properly primp one’s clothes, they play a game of darts with an old drunk. He schools them and they leave to eat dinner defeated but not dejected.

Clearly very nervous at dinner, Raven stumbles her way through the opening sentences of a speech about how much she loves Nick. But quickly, she finds herself. In the end, Raven’s speech about “easy love” was one of the best confessions of love that Nick claims he has ever heard.

She then ruins the poetry of her speech by reminding Nick that she has only been with one other man, you know, sexually. She adds on that in the two years that they dated, he never once made her orgasm.

This choice of conversation is what Nick refers to as Raven’s edge. And it is what he likes most about her.

They kiss and adjourn to the bedroom, giddy as high schoolers on prom night.

Next week: the episode is going to be THREE FULL HOURS LONG so, I don’t know, lots of stuff is going to happen.

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