Jack And Jill

Jack and Jill is an Oscar-worthy movie. It's amazing. One of the best films I've ever seen. No, really, what do you think I'm going to say about it? It was brutal. Let me put it this way, it made Just Go With It – the mess that was Sandler's last film – a pleasant memory for me. Sandler's films just keep getting worse and worse. I think the screenwriters took all of about five minutes to come up with the story.

No one ever expects Sandler's films to be fantastic works of art that get top scores from the critics. In fact, critics have never given his movies glowing reviews, but audiences have always loved them. But really, how do you go from the originality and freshness of Billy Madison and 50 First Dates to the crap that is Jack and Jill? And it's not like Sandler even needs the money. The guy's beyond loaded and has been for a very long time. So why does he bother making these “films” that he puts no effort into?

Adam Sandler as Jack is a commercial director, and a total hack, who mostly directs celebrities in embarrassing commercials (a way for Sandler to get as many celebrity cameos into the movie as possible: cue Regis Philbin, Shaquille O'Neale and Johnny Depp). He lives in Los Angeles and is married (to Katie Holmes) and has two kids. Jack's company is, suddenly and inexplicably in jeopardy, because Dunkin Donuts, his biggest client, will cut him off unless he can produce Al Pacino for their commercial.

Jack's twin sister Jill (also played by Sandler) is a single, hideous, obnoxious, lonely woman who still lives in the Bronx (where they're from), and whose only friends are a parrot and their mother, but their mother just died, so she's especially lonely. Jill only visits her brother and his family once a year during the holidays, because Jack can't stand her. Jill shows up for her yearly visit, and it's agony for Jack, yet Jill keeps finding ways to extend her stay.

The fact that any man would be attracted to Sandler in a dress is not believable at all, especially since she also has an incredibly annoying voice and leaves sweat marks on the bed. Nevertheless, at a basketball game Sandler and his sister run into Pacino, who immediately falls for Jill – but she's not interested. Pacino makes it clear to Jack that he will do the commercial – but only if he helps him get Jill. And since Jill isn't interested in Pacino in the slightest, Jack is in a pickle.

Of course, it all works out in the end. But what didn't work was this movie. Sandler as Jill was annoying, unfunny and unattractive – so unattractive that I found it difficult to look at him/her. As for Katie Holmes – why was she even in this movie? She was so bland, reactionary and nondescript you could have yanked her out of the film, and you wouldn't have missed her. Any actress could have played this part. She added absolutely nothing to the film.

And OMG – Al Pacino, what were you thinking?! You might want to do a funny role in a comedy – but you could have done so much better in a higher quality movie. I was actually in shock at the depths of stupidy Pacino was willing to go to – chasing after Sandler in a skirt? Try harder, Sandler, or just stop!