The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!

For those of you who never saw the Drawn Together TV series which ran from 2004-2007 then there is a possibility that the opening sequence to their new movie may come as a shock. Toot, their Betty Boop knockoff, walks into a bar in Bedrock, has a drink and a smoke, is disparaged for her weight and shares a passionate lesbian kiss. . .all while pregnant. The action quickly moves outside and into the Flintstones's opening sequence wherein the large purple dinosaur catches a bazooka blast in the ass and Barney Rubble becomes a victim of vehicular manslaughter.

It’s a lot to stomach and it comes at you in the blink of an eye, but what we just described is the rule and not the exception, as from that point forward creators/writers Dave Jeser and Matt Silverstein push on at the same rapid pace desecrating anything they can get their hands on. Their mistake lies in overestimating the inherent hilariousness of being politically incorrect and believing that busting taboos is in and of itself interesting.

The story picks up right after the cancellation of the fictional Drawn Together show. Nobody bothered to mention it to the gang though so they just go right on living their lives until one day Foxxy notices that her F-Bombs are no longer being censored (of course the real reason being that this is being released on DVD not basic cable. . .one of their many attempts to be meta). A quick TiVo check reveals that their timeslot has been handed over to an adorable singing little girl with the foulest mouth this side of Hit Girl. In fact, Matthew Vaughn’s success in creating a lightning rod for his art out of a poorly behaved child is all the more impressive now that we realize that other similar stunts have been met with yawns. Following her advice the Drawn Together cast takes off for Make a Point Land so that they can try and get their show back on the air.

The plot is clever enough but it is plain to see from the get go that it is just there as window dressing for their never ending parade of “offensive” jokes. A fair number of them are so ill-conceived that they suck the life right out of the film itself. The absolute bottom of the barrel though has to be the 3D sex scene that besides being in 2D (this being a straight to DVD release and all) does nothing to titillate much less understand or explore a homosexual encounter. Instead it aims only to score giggles from college stoners and feigned outrage from the religious right. Much more inventive is Captain Hero and his insatiable lust for necrophilia. . .it’s a classic case of something being so wrong that it’s right. There is also a character named I.S.R.A.E.L who is nothing more than a bloodthirsty military robot bent on destroying (or shall I say terminating) the former housemates.

Everybody knows that being offensive without having a point isn’t a crime on its own. The crime here is that instead of being funny the jokes are usually exhausting and nerve grating. Seth MacFarlane provides the voice of I.S.R.A.E.L and nothing as an actor, but it does raise an interesting question. Why would he, somebody who paved the way for Drawn Together, lend a hand to a movie like this which is blatantly ripping off his Family Guy and turning it into an inferior product? And while he has perfected the art of being offensive sans a point he would never be so boring as to devote an episode (feature length or otherwise) to bragging about what he’s doing. This project comes off as the tantrum of a younger sibling who is pissed off that their older, more topical brother (South Park) was given preferential treatment. And really who would want to think about things when you could be spending your precious time on Earth watching a T-Rex walk around with a boner?

DVD Special Features:

Anatomy of an animated sex scene, Re-animating Drawn Together: From the small screen to the slightly bigger screen, Drawn Together: The Legacy, Drawn Together: True Confessionals.

Starring: Adam Carolla, Jess Harnell, Abbie DIGregorio, Jack Plotnik, Seth MacFarlane
Director: Greg Franklin
Runtime: 70 minutes
Rating: NR