If the soccer thing doesn't work out, David Beckham might want to consider the stage.

"Right now I don't want to be David Beckham, I just want to relax," he told a masseuse while being filmed by a hidden camera for The Ellen DeGeneres Show. While DeGeneres fed him lines off-stage, Beckham proceeded to make the massage more and more ridiculous, telling the hapless woman to call him 'Ricky.'

"Let's just join our energy," he said to her. "Can I put my hands on your shoulders and you'll put your hands on my shoulders?" As the two stood this way, the athlete made wailing breathing noises, before taking off his shirt. "Could you try not to use your thumbs," he asked her. "Just the two index fingers."

He wasn't finished there. "Sometimes it's just so hard to be pretty," he told her. "People tell me sometimes I have skin like baby peaches." Beckham went on to make the masseuse hum "Happy Birthday" to his muscles and praised DeGeneres effusively before letting the woman in on the joke. –AMY LEE

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