‘Supergirl’ Series Premiere Recap And Review: A Cringe-Worthy Take On The Classic Franchise

We all know that Superman is an alien sent to earth by his parents to protect him. The part of the story that everyone seems to have overlooked until recently is that Superman was a baby; and you really shouldn’t send babies of to foreign worlds with out a babysitter. That is why they also sent Kara Danvers (Melissa Benoist), Clark Kent’s 13-year-old cousin, to protect him. However, she hits a few speed bumps along the way and arrives a little late, missing her chance to protect Clark, and when the show kicks off she’s forced to work as a PA for a ruthless news publisher.

‘Supergirl’ Series Premiere Recap

After leaving Krypton, Kara gets thrown into “the phantom zone,” some kind of cosmic anomaly where time doesn’t exist. She shows up on earth two decades late and Superman is grown up and fighting crime. Last thing Superman needs is a protector. So she grows up nice an normal, devoid of purpose except to cancel all of Mrs. Grant’s appointments.

Kara has super human powers and she doesn’t use them because the world doesn’t need another hero. As hard as it is to believe that anybody is that boring, Kara proves us wrong. In spite of it all, Kara goes through her day-to-day with a head full of doubt.

She gets her chance to be a hero when an airliner is about to nosedive into the city in a ball of flames. In the few moments that it takes to figure out how to fly all over again, Kara becomes a hero.

The plane that went down just happens to have Kara’s adopted sister Alex (Chyler Leigh) on board. Alex isn’t grateful in the least; she fears for her sister being exposed for what she is, an alien.

Cat Grant (Calista Flockhart) finds a solution to a major problem in the form of Supergirl. One of her newspapers, which she plans on shutting down, needs to run someone other than Superman on the cover in order to survive, and now she has the fodder to keep the publication alive. She needs interviews and other exclusive content on this new hero, but all she needs from Kara is a wrap.

Kara reveals herself to a Winn Schott (Jeremy Jordan), a co-worker that she has thoroughly friend-zoned and the two begin working on a costume for her to save lives in.

Her adventure is cut short when she is shot by a dart and wakes up in a secret facility run by people on a mission of exploring the activities of alien beings. When Kara’s pod breaks free from the phantom zone, she pulls space station designed to be prison with out with her. Fort Roz, as the prison ship is called, lands on earth as well and all the alien convicts escape. Hank Henshaw (David Harewood) gives her the low-down on this and is sure to layer on the blame. Hank echos Alex’s advice and tells her to stay out of the superhero business.

However, she is more determined than ever to make a difference in the world. At work, Kara learns that “#Supergirl” is trending on Twitter. Cat is impressed when Kara shows her a clear photo of Supergirl, who she doesn’t recognize without glasses.

And Kara is not shying away from being superhero either. She starts by going after one of the convicts who escaped in the crash. This goes badly for her, but eventually her opponent commits suicide.

The embarrassingly cheesy dialogue alone is enough to make audiences want to go the way of the alien street thug in this modern adaptation of the classic. It’s truly surprising that something as fool-proof as the Superman franchise could fail in such a way. That being said, female superheroes are in serious demand right now, and Supergirl takes an obvious stab at filling that role. However, all feminist/superhero street-cred gets brilliantly flushed down the toilet when Kara starts fighting crime to the tune of “She’s a Bad Mama Jama.” Is this really the network that gave us How I Met Your Mother?

Supergirl airs Mondays on CBS.

Pictured: Melissa Benoist as Kara Danvers