This weekend’s Saturday Night Live opened on a humorous sketch lampooning the Senate impeachment trial, giving many Americans, “The Trial You Wished Had Happened.”
“After months of anticipation, the impeachment trial of President Trump wound up consisting of two weeks of dry debate and posturing and will conclude without any witness testimony or new evidence,” began the sketch, which soon after launched into a fantastical re-imagining of the trial. First, Chief Justice John Roberts (Mikey Day) admits to having a, “complete disinterest,” in the trial and is soon kicked out of the proceedings by television personality Judge Mathis (Kenan Thompson). “This court needs a real judge who got some big brass ones under his skirt,” said Mathis to Roberts. Mathis then starts the trial, first calling Senator Mitch McConnell (Beck Bennet) and Senator Lindsey Graham (Kate McKinnon). Calling himself a, “Sneaky Little Mitch,” McConnell reminds, “the American people that all men are innocent after proven guilty.”
Judge Mathis then calls his first witness – John Bolton (Cecily Strong). When asked by Mathis why he was only now just offering information that could damage Trump, Bolton replied, “Because I’m a messy bitch who loves drama.” When asked to provide more information, Bolton said that he would not give out spoilers, but implored people to pre-order his new book, Harry Potter and the Room Where It Happened. Then, Hunter Biden (Pete Davidson) is called to testify, showing up doing hoverboard tricks. “You’re not gonna believe this, but my schedule was wide open,” Biden said.
The last witness to be called is President Trump (Alec Baldwin), who shows up with a walker, in reference to rumors about how Harvey Weinstein showed up to his trial. “Your honor, I’m a very sick old man. How could I withhold aid from the Ukraine, I can barely get around the house?” When Mathis asked if Trump is trying to, “Weinstein,” him, Trump asks, “In which sense?” Then, Trump makes a closing statement for the trial. “The call with The Ukraine wasn’t perfect, it was illegal, and frankly, it was a butt dial.”
Watch the full “Impeachment Fantasy” sketch below.
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