News

‘SNL’ Shows Trump Impeachment Trial ‘The Way You Wish It Was’ [Video]

This weekend’s Saturday Night Live opened on a humorous sketch lampooning the Senate impeachment trial, giving many Americans, “The Trial You Wished Had Happened.”

“After months of anticipation, the impeachment trial of President Trump wound up consisting of two weeks of dry debate and posturing and will conclude without any witness testimony or new evidence,” began the sketch, which soon after launched into a fantastical re-imagining of the trial. First, Chief Justice John Roberts (Mikey Day) admits to having a, “complete disinterest,” in the trial and is soon kicked out of the proceedings by television personality Judge Mathis (Kenan Thompson). “This court needs a real judge who got some big brass ones under his skirt,” said Mathis to Roberts. Mathis then starts the trial, first calling Senator Mitch McConnell (Beck Bennet) and Senator Lindsey Graham (Kate McKinnon). Calling himself a, “Sneaky Little Mitch,” McConnell reminds, “the American people that all men are innocent after proven guilty.”

Judge Mathis then calls his first witness John Bolton (Cecily Strong). When asked by Mathis why he was only now just offering information that could damage Trump, Bolton replied, “Because I’m a messy bitch who loves drama.” When asked to provide more information, Bolton said that he would not give out spoilers, but implored people to pre-order his new book, Harry Potter and the Room Where It Happened. Then, Hunter Biden (Pete Davidson) is called to testify, showing up doing hoverboard tricks. “You’re not gonna believe this, but my schedule was wide open,” Biden said.

The last witness to be called is President Trump (Alec Baldwin), who shows up with a walker, in reference to rumors about how Harvey Weinstein showed up to his trial. “Your honor, I’m a very sick old man. How could I withhold aid from the Ukraine, I can barely get around the house?” When Mathis asked if Trump is trying to, “Weinstein,” him, Trump asks, “In which sense?” Then, Trump makes a closing statement for the trial. “The call with The Ukraine wasn’t perfect, it was illegal, and frankly, it was a butt dial.”

Watch the full “Impeachment Fantasy” sketch below.

Dan Horch

Share
Published by
Dan Horch

Recent Posts

​Democratic Rep. Frederica Wilson, Sporting Pink Cowboy Hat, Calls For ‘Uprising’ Against ICE, Republicans Say FBI Should Investigate Her

Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Florida), known for her signature pink cowboy hat, has called for an…

18 hours ago

Bill Maher Responds To Larry David’s Satirical Op-Ed Comparing Trump Dinner To Dining With Hitler​

Comedian Bill Maher has publicly addressed a satirical op-ed by longtime friend Larry David, which implicitly compared Maher's…

20 hours ago

Shedeur Sanders Reacts To NFL Draft Snub At Lavish Party He Threw For Himself: ‘Fuel To The Fire’

Shedeur Sanders, the 23-year-old quarterback from the Colorado Buffaloes and son of NFL Hall of…

20 hours ago

Megyn Kelly Mocks Blake Lively’s ‘Ridiculous’ Inclusion In ‘TIME 100’: ‘She Has No Influence Over Anything’

At the TIME100 Gala held at Lincoln Center in New York, political commentator Megyn Kelly publicly criticized…

21 hours ago

​Former NFL Star Adrian Peterson Arrested For DWI Following Vikings Draft Party

Former NFL star Adrian Peterson was arrested early Friday morning in Minnesota on suspicion of driving while…

1 day ago

Ex-GOP Rep. George Santos Sentenced To 7 Years In Prison For Fraud & Identity Theft, Hopes For Pardon From Trump

Disgraced former Rep. George Santos (R-New York) was sentenced on Friday to 87 months in federal prison…

1 day ago