Sinead O’Connor admits she’s suicidal and living in a Hackensack, New Jersey, motel room in a new video.


The singer posted a 12-minute Facebook video outlining her current depressed state. “I hope this video is somehow helpful. Not actually to me, but the fact I know I’m only one of millions and millions of people in the world who are just like me,” she began. She continued, “Not to me “I’m all by myself. And there’s absolutely nobody in my life except my doctor, my psychiatrist, the sweetest man on earth, who says I’m his hero, and that’s about the only… thing keeping me alive at the moment, the fact that I’m his bloody hero, and that’s kind of pathetic,” she said.

She cries throughout most of the video and talks about the three mental illnesses from which she suffers. She also accepts that she has more resources and money than many of her fellow mental illness sufferers, and her tears seem to be a lot for them. “Mental illness, it’s like drugs,” she says. “Suddenly all the people that are supposed to be loving you and taking care of you are treating you like s–t, and then when you’re angry or you’re hurt because they’re doing it, it’s like a witch hunt.”

She ends her speech by saying that she keeps going for all her loved ones, not for herself. “I love the people that are going this to me. I’m not staying alive for me. If it was for me, I’d be gone,” she says. “The people who suffer from mental illness are the most vulnerable people on earth. We can’t take of ourselves.”

O’Connor has always been outspoken about her depression. In Dec. 2015, she wrote a suicide note admitting she intentionally overdosed on pills. “The last two nights have finished me off. I have taken an overdose,” the note read. “There is no other way to get respect. I am not at home, I’m at a hotel, somewhere in Ireland, under another name. There is only so much a woman can be expected to bear. After everything I’ve been put through, and been forced to go through alone, they wouldn’t know if I was dead until weeks from now.”

She was hospitalized two days later after she was found alive. She begged her kids to visit her in the hospital, but she had previously renounced her children and said they were “dead to me.” Then in May 2016, the police issued an alert saying O’Connor was “missing, suicidal.”

Following the video posting, a spokesperson for the singer wrote on her Facebook page that O’Connor was safe. “Hi everybody, I am posting at Sinead’s request, to let everyone who loves her know she is safe, and she is not suicidal. She is surrounded by love and receiving the best of care. She asked for this to be posted knowing you are concerned for her. I won’t respond to any questions, so please understand. I hope this comforts those of you who are concerned.”

Read more about: