Sen. John Fetterman Says He Thought About Self-Harm & Believed Getting Treatment For Depression Would End His Political Career

Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pennsylvania) openly admitted he engaged in “dark conversations” with himself about self-harm before he hit “the emergency brake” and sought treatment for his battle with depression.

Fetterman, who is in his first term, spoke candidly about his experiences in an introspective interview with NBC’s Meet the Press, which was recorded prior to its broadcast on Sunday.

In February 2023, he admitted himself to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, as he felt he had nowhere else to turn.

Fetterman expressed doubts about his political future, especially when news of his treatment and whereabouts became public.

He feared that this revelation could mark the end of his career. At the time he sought treatment for clinical depression, Fetterman was also contending with the aftermath of a stroke he had suffered in May 2022 while he campaigned for one of the Senate’s highly contested seats.

The stroke had brought him to the brink of life and death, and his heart technically ceased to beat. To manage his two heart conditions, atrial fibrillation and cardiomyopathy, Fetterman had to undergo a procedure to implant a pacemaker with a defibrillator.

In the interview, Fetterman expressed concerns about the impact his struggles might have on his three school-age children.

“I really scared my kids, and they thought, ’You won, Dad. Why aren’t we enough? Why are you still so sad? Why are you even more sad?’ And it was hard for — to explain why I was. And, of course, a 9-year-old child wouldn’t understand that,” he recalled. “And it was awful.”

Despite his victory over Republican Dr. Mehmet Oz, which helped the Democrats maintain control of the Senate and catapulted Fetterman into the national spotlight, he found himself unable to muster the energy to get out of bed in his Braddock, Pennsylvania, home.

Fetterman revealed that he had even pleaded not to attend orientation sessions in Washington, D.C., for newly elected lawmakers in November. The approach of his favorite holiday, Christmas, failed to inspire joy as he found himself unable to think about buying presents for his children and dreaded his swearing-in ceremony on Capitol Hill in the coming year.

Within two months, Fetterman found himself at Walter Reed, as his aides had noticed his withdrawal and lack of interest in eating, discussing work, or engaging in the usual banter with his staff. He candidly stated, “There wasn’t any hope sometimes and like, ‘What do I have left?’ As the list of distressing thoughts grew, he realized it was time to take decisive action and seek help.

Prior to his admission to Walter Reed, Fetterman had not publicly disclosed his battle with depression. However, he has since acknowledged that it has been a constant struggle throughout his life. After six weeks of inpatient treatment, Fetterman left Walter Reed at the end of March with his depression deemed to be in remission, as reported by a statement from his office.

Earlier this month, Fetterman advocated for the removal of Sen. Bob Menendez, a fellow Democrat from New Jersey, from the Senate.

In October, he made headlines when he told Stephen Colbert that America is “not sending its best and brightest” to Washington.