Saturday Night Live this weekend featured The Hobbit and Fargo actor Martin Freeman and musical guest Charlie XCX.

Saturday Night Live Recap

Charlie Rose interviewed the two psychologists (Bobby Moynihan and Kyle Mooney) who advised the CIA on torture techniques during the cold open on Saturday. “The report is like a menu from the cheesecake factory,” Taran Killam‘s Charlie Rose noted. “600 pages of sickening details, and yet I couldn’t put it down.” The two shrinks say that they don’t want to be known for only their CIA work. They also consult for Time Warner Cable customer service, got their big break working for the TSA, invented one-man shows, created the self-checkout, and auto correct. “It sure ducking was,” them says Moynihan.

Monologue

Martin Freeman was joined by his fellow British actor friends Maggie Smith (Kate McKinnon) and Alan Rickman (Taran Killam) – because all British actors are close pals of course. Freeman’s monologue also focused on the belief that Americans think that all British actors are the same person. “My name is Martin Freeman, unless I embarrass myself and then I’m Colin Firth,” Freeman closed out the bit.

Sump’n Claus

Kenan Thompson played Sump’n Claus, the red-suited Claus that gives a little something to even the naughtiest of believing adults. “Everybody getting’ sump’n,” goes the song. “If you’ve been crossed off Santa’s list, here comes Sump’n Claus.”  Justin Bieber, Paula Dean, Donald Sterling and Suge Knight will all be getting something. “Go ahead,” says Sump’n. “Be naughty. I gotchu.”

Wedding Objections

Martin Freeman and Leslie Jones tie the knot in the Wedding Objections sketch. “I Harrow and Oxford, you the WNBA,” Freeman began his vows. She calls him her “dearest little Ian.” When the priest asks for those to object to raise their hands, everyone gathered raises their hands. Jones’ roommate says they’ve known each other all of five days and fight on the front lawn, and  Ian’s current wife isn’t prepared for him to throw out their marriage.

Hobbit Office

On JRR TV, The Office: Middle Earth is now airing. Moynihan plays Gandalf/ David Brent, while Killam is Gollum-as-Gareth and McKinnon is Elven Pam.

Right Side Of The Bed

Taran Killam and Cecily Strong play a married couple hosting a talk a show in Right Side of the Bed. One of their reccuring guests is handy man Larry (Freeman). Among the topics of conversation between the married pair were their two-hours in bed the night before and how he zips up her zippers. The center concept was that their dialogue was rife with sexual innuendo while Killam played the husband like a gay stereotype. Kate McKinnon also played Keith Urban in the sketch.

Church

The St. Joseph’s Church Christmas Mass Spectacular advertisement highlighted a newfound atheist young man dragged there by his family, Pastor Pat who sings at different speeds, sweaty palmed handshake Mr. Drubbler, organist Linda who always starts on the wrong chord, teen soloist Bethany who tries too hard, an under and overenthusiastic liturgical reader and rows of Filipino ladies.

Weekend Update

Colin Jost and Michael Che swapped jokes about Will and Kate hitting the big apple, the rectal feeding in the torture report sounding like a new cleanse on goop and the possible use of Pellegrino in the expensive waterboarding budget. Guests this week included Sasheer Zamata’s emoji-obsessed diversity expert, Cecily Strong‘s One-Dimensional Female Character From A Male Driven Comedy and Vanessa Bayer‘s Jacob The Bar Mitzvah Boy.

Heinz Assembly Line

The ketchup assembly line sketch featured just Killam and Freeman as assembly line trainee and trainer, respectively. The whole sketch revolved around Killam’s character not being able to comprehend Freeman’s simple instructions.

Waterbed Commercial

Freeman channels his Fargo character in a Waterbed Warehouse commercial that he starred in alongside his wife, played by Aidy Bryant. There’s trouble in paradise for the South Dakota couple, as Bryant has developed a big head from her local TV fame.

Charlie XCX performed “Boom Clap” and “Break the Rules.”