Sarah Silverman Opens Up About Her Battle With Depression

Actress and comedian Sarah Silverman recently offered an in depth look at the depression she’s been battling since her early teens.

Sarah Silverman On Depression

Silverman, 44, first experienced depression at just 13 years old. “Something shifted inside me. It happened as fast as the sun going behind a cloud,” Silverman told Glamour of the day she returned home from a summer camp. “You know how you can be fine one moment, and the next it’s, ‘Oh my God, I f—king have the flu!?’ It was like that. Only this flu lasted for three years.”

Things only got worse from there for Silverman, who experienced the symptoms of depression and panic attacks for another three years before getting a diagnosis and a prescription for Xanax – 16 a day. Another couple of years later Silverman was weaned off the medication and finally felt like herself again.

Silverman, who once described depression as feeling “like I’m desperately homesick, but I’m home,” was hit by another wave of depression at 22 years old, just as she’d gotten her big break as a writer and performer on Saturday Night Live. A friend immediately got her medical attention, which resulted in a prescription for the panic attack blocker Klonopin.

These days, Silverman still keeps Klonopin on her – though she hasn’t taken the pill in years. She also takes a small dose of Zoloft daily and continues to attend therapy sessions, which allows her to remain healthy, but to also experience a range of emotions.

“I still have downward spirals, days when I have to drag myself onstage to do stand-up or I’m just tweeting Morrissey lyrics from my bed. But there’s one thing I know that I used to not know: It will pass. And it does,” Silverman said. “I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone. But if you ever experience it, or are experiencing it right now, just know that on the other side, the little joys in life will be that much sweeter. The tough times, the days when you’re just a ball on the floor—they’ll pass. You’re playing the long game, and life is totally worth it.”

Silverman’s latest film I Smile Back, in which she plays a mother suffering from depression, hits theaters Oct. 23.