Ryan Reynold’s 30 Funniest Tweets

If you have a Twitter account, the best thing you could possibly do is follow Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds). For years now, he has been making people laugh on the social media platform with his hilarious tweets. By now, fans expect the madness – and he sure delivers.

Reynolds is the type of Twitter user that actually says out loud what many are secretly thinking.That’s what makes them so relatable and quite entertaining.

Take a look at 30 of the Deadpool star’s funniest tweets over the past couple of years.

My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 16, 2017

We should photoshop me over his yearbook picture next. #DontMessWithGabi https://t.co/o0qFBXvSNi

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 6, 2017

I can go from researching a cramp on WebMD to coffin shopping in under 90 seconds.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 28, 2017

When checking out of a hotel, it's fun to say: "The fire resistant carpet deserves some sort of Fire Resistant Carpet Award!"

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 7, 2017

Airplane toilets are aggressive. It wasn't until I got back to my seat that I noticed my pants and testicles were missing.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) February 23, 2017

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017

People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 7, 2017

On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016

I'm making an oil painting of my sister, Sarah. And it's more difficult than I thought because I don't have a sister.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2016

Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 7, 2016

It's important kids eat 5 servings of vegetables daily. Even if childhood is just a dress-rehearsal for extraordinary adult suffering.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 29, 2016

Someone should bottle the unspeakable emotional terrorism between Brides and Maids of Honor. Then pour it on our enemies.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 28, 2016

Just want to wish Billy Ray Cyrus the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Also, Happy Birthday to my wife.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 25, 2016

Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 19, 2016

Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016

Everything that happens in high school will always matter. Always. https://t.co/zlMGHhyRGF

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 4, 2016

Finding quality "me" time. Or explaining why Stalin is in hell. 1 yr olds are pretty dumb, so pictures help. https://t.co/cFP0HlDluJ

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 30, 2016

Being a father means responsibility. Not just for your main family, but also the secret one in Denmark nobody knows about.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2016

Weird. I was JUST thinking the same thing. https://t.co/taW3TV9r77

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 8, 2016

What's better than a 12 hour drive with a screaming 1 year old? Not including hepatitis.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 2, 2016

Tip: It's important parents take little "time outs" for themselves too. Even if you feel pretty guilty when you return 14 years later.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 3, 2016

My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016

Google Translator sucks! So embarrassing. I just asked a sweet elderly man in Taiwan which bus runs to his asshole. I meant MY asshole.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 20, 2016

They should consider inventing drugs that make you feel better about everyone else too.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 6, 2016

I don't always drink beer. But when I do… I'm a licensed commercial airline pilot. Stay thirsty my friend. #rejectedbeercommercial

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) December 10, 2015

The great thing about kite surfing is that – depending on the wind – you can continue kite surfing up to an hour after dying.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 23, 2015

There's no scientific proof that anyone with over 5 bumper stickers is legally insane. Also, what the fuck are scientists doing all day?

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 16, 2015

Saying, "Finger Lickin' Good" out loud — even at KFC — makes everyone pretty uncomfortable.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 13, 2015

I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015

Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this".

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 26, 2015