In the third episode of its fifth season, HBO's True Blood continued to throw light on the complicated relationship between a vampire and his or her maker — and as we know, light is a painful thing for a vampire to endure in any capacity.
Entitled "Whatever I Am, You Made Me," Sunday's episode started off with the newly made Tara (Rutina Wesley), who is still raving mad at friend Sookie (Anna Paquin) and cousin Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) for turning her into what she always loathed. After drinking an innocent human on the side of the road, Tara runs to Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammel) for help, but all he can do is pump her full of Tru Blood till she passes out. At a loss for what to do, Sam stores Tara's body in his restaurant's walk-in freezer.
Meanwhile, Sookie turns to Pam, Tara's maker, for help, but Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) is too busy managing her nightclub, thumbing her Blackberry at a million characters per minute and pining for the missing-for-four-days Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) to give a damn. "You haven't done shit for me, Tinkerbell," Pam tells Sookie before attempting to toss her out. Sookie reacts with a powerful fairy laser boom that embarrasses the hell out of Pam, but Tara is still on the loose.
Pam has reason to worry over Erik, who, along with Bill (Stephen Moyer), remains in the clutches of the Authority, led by Roman (Christopher Meloni). The Authority's roundtable of chancellors, incensed over the fact that Russell Edgington remains alive, argues over the fate of Eric and Bill, but Roman eventually quiets them in preparation for his grand strategy that somehow involves Reverend Newlin (Michael McMillian) as his new public face. It's not clear, exactly, what Roman is up to, but he's in a tough political spot given the fact that "Sanguinese" fundamentalists are on the rise, infiltrating the Authority and sparking dissent with Roman's mainstreaming policies. His solution for maintaining Eric and Bill's loyalty is twofold: outfitting them with remote-operated harnesses that will pierce their hearts with the push of a button if they misbehave, and enlisting Salome (yes, that Salome) to secure Bill's affections.
Speaking of affections, Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) is undergoing a tough transformation from hormonal womanizer to adult male. After pursuing and bedding his former teacher, Miss Steeler, despite his bizarre choice of aphrodisiac ("Crunchy or sweet?" he asks her, holding up two jars of pickles), Jason still feels awkwardly unsatisfied. He withholds himself from a very randy Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll), offering as an excuse his unfolding realization that good sex does little to fill his existential void. Jessica, in a moment of her own sweetness, offers Jason something he has never had — platonic female friendship.
Lately, Jason has not had any friends to speak of, since Hoyt (Jim Parrack) is still pissed that he stole Jessica from under his nose. Hoyt's coping mechanisms are familiar to an unlikely sympathizer: Pam. When Hoyt storms into her fangbanger bar wearing eyeliner and looking for trouble, Pam warns him, "They'll eat you alive in here." Hoyt's response — "That's what I'm hoping for" — triggers another flashback to San Francisco, 1905, when Pam was a human brothel-owner enamored with Eric. After Pam asks Eric to turn her, and he refuses, she slashes her wrists, essentially forcing him to sign on for the bond that is, according to him, "deeper than any human bond."
Sheriff Andy Bellefleur (Chris Bauer) is also under quite a bit of stress, for two reasons: pictures of his naked rear end are being passed around on Facebook, and Debbie Pelt has gone missing. The distraction of the Facebook fiasco works in Sookie's favor, as she's able to play innocent and provide the sheriff a feasible alibi, though Lafayette struggles to keep it together. With the sheriff and Deb's parents still in the dark, Sookie is pressured into confessing to Alcide (Joe Manganiello) that she killed Deb, and let's just say he's angry to the canineth degree.
Around that time, another cat is let out of the bag when Tara escapes from the freezer, fangs bared. Arlene (Carrie Preston) witnesses the whole thing, so it's safe to say the whole town knows that Tara is a vampire. Tara flees and seeks out a tanning salon appropriately named "Curl up and Fry," apparently intending to commit suicide via a fatal surge of UV rays. But via the intimate channels between maker and made, Pam gets the signal that Tara is in danger. "You stupid bitch," Pam says aloud. But whether she makes it to Tara in time will have to wait till next Sunday.
—JUSTIN JANNISE
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