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‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Season 7 Episode 7 Recap: Spa-Cation

Last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey we saw the ladies recovering from the fallout of Teresa and Jacqueline’s dinner showdown. This week, in an attempt to mend the shattered relationship, the ladies take a weekend trip to Crystal Springs Resort in Hamburg, New Jersey.

RHONJ Season 7 Episode 7 Recap: Spa-cation

The ladies embark on their weekend trip to the spa with Siggy and Jacqueline in one car and Dolores, Teresa, and Melissa in another. Surprisingly it wasn’t Teresa who over packed for the weekend getaway, but Melissa who felt it was necessary to bring four bags for herself (stop it). Within minutes the conversation in both cars turns to Jacqueline and Teresa and how the two of them will react being away for the weekend together. Jacqueline says she’ll play nice with Teresa but if Tre tries to dig at her she’ll “bury her” (omg).

Dolores, Melissa, and Teresa arrive and settle in as they wait for Siggy and Jacqueline. When Siggy and Jacqueline arrive, Melissa and Dolores meet them at the door while Teresa is hesitant and hangs back a bit. Jacqueline doesn’t acknowledge Teresa’s presence at first and instantly goes to find her bedroom downstairs. Siggy calls Jacqueline upstairs to “introduce her to someone” meaning Teresa, and the two women share a very awkward handshake.
Later the ladies head to dinner and Teresa and Jacqueline reconnect over their trip to Italy several years ago. The ladies also discuss the various hardships they have experienced in life and Siggy refers to them all as survivors. After dinner the ladies make their way to a bonfire for s’mores and wine. Siggy is very impressed with the warmth Teresa is showing towards Jacqueline: “You’re such a f—ing doll, Teresa” (she truly is). At the end of the night Jacqueline and Teresa decide to prank their husbands by FaceTiming them and pretending to be in yet another cataclysmic fight. Afterwards, the ladies play a few rounds of wine pong (how do I get invited to this party?) and head to bed.

The rest of the episode shows Jacqueline and Teresa’s friendship on the fast track to recovery. When Jacqueline is upset about her son Nicholas’ difficult life Teresa is there to comfort her. When the two ladies get a massage together, Teresa tells Jacqueline that she’ll always be there for her no matter what and Jacqueline apologizes for the harsh words she spouted out of anger. Jacqueline’s paranoia spikes this episode though, as she tells Dolores and Melissa to shut up because she’s tired of them whispering all weekend (Wacky Jacky is backy). The ladies reassure Jacqueline that no one was gossiping about her and all becomes well again. The episode ends on a high note with Teresa conducting a laughter-filled yoga class for the group: “Namaste bitches”. How long will this peaceful atmosphere last among the ladies? And has Jacqueline and Teresa’s friendship finally been repaired? Find out next Sunday at 8pm EST on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Housewives Side Notes:

Teresa:

• Wants Juicy Joe to “suck her tits”.
• Joe is training a German shepherd to be an attack dog for his family while he is in prison.

Melissa:

• Thinks “fustrating” is a word.
• Joe Gorga doesn’t know what a baking sheet is.
• Joe thinks salmonella is pronounced “semalena.”

Siggy:

• Doesn’t know what a queef is.
• Had “two hot flashes” this episode.

Dolores:

• Is a griller.
• Doesn’t drink liquor.

Jacqueline:

• Her nipples almost “froze and broke off” this episode.
• Is her own worst enemy according to Melissa.

Brian Salemi

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