‘Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales’ Review Roundup: No-Fun Sequel

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales hits theaters this weekend, and critics already agree that the fifth installment of the franchise is not good. The film has received only a 31% on Rottentomatoes.

Johnny Depp returns as Captain Jack Sparrow and must escape the wrath of dead ghost pirate Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem). While fans of the franchise will probably enjoy the movie for what it is, anyone seeking to see a good movie will be disappointed.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES REVIEW ROUNDUP

“The movie is long and punishing. Its pleasures are so meager, its delight in its own inventions so forced and false, that it becomes almost the perfect opposite of entertainment. To insist otherwise is a variation on the sunk cost fallacy. Since you exchanged money for fun, fun is surely what you must have purchased, and you may cling to that idea in the face of contrary evidence. But trust me on this: This movie would be a rip-off even if someone paid you to see it.”
–A.O. Scott, The New York Times

“In the wake of the unseaworthy On Stranger Tides, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales sails in six years later to swab the deck with an adventure packed with action, CGI wizardry and plucky silliness… While dead men may tell no tales, there’s no moratorium on spilling sequels to further the franchise’s perennial box-office bonanza. The adventure is being billed as the finale, but winds up leaving the door wide open for Pirates 6, you savvy?”
–Linda Barnard, The Toronto Star

“For most of the movie, Depp puts in an awfully tired performance, rarely registering the kooky beats that should be second nature by now… Still I found Dead Men Tell No Tales to be passably fun and certainly no harder to watch than any of the better-pedigreed blockbusters this year.”
–Jeffrey Bloomer, Slate

“What’s missing is a sense of tight focus and valuable purpose. Like the first four Pirates movies, this is a lavish production, but unlike its predecessors, this isn’t a pretty sight. The production values feel sloppy and rushed, with most of the story occurring in the dark of night or under the deep blue sea. The supernatural episodes of the story are packed with computer-generated ghosts whose half-decayed cadavers look like badly snipped-out photographs. The living cast members don’t shine, either. Depp doesn’t have all his dramatic cylinders firing in this performance.”
–Colin Covert, StarTribune