Orange is the New Black‘s third season premiere, “Trust No B—-,” saw Piper go all Godfather in her panty business, a near-death, a wedding and a mikvah.

‘Orange Is The New Black’ Recap

Movie night is still in full swing at Litchfield, and Big Boo (Lea DeLaria) and Doggett (Taryn Manning) return to watch after their failed attempt to rape Coates aka Donuts as revenge. Neither of them has the stomach for the task, so the two of them try to put their heads together to figure out what they can do to get Doggett off of van duty. As for Poussey (Samira Wiley), she’s rushed back from the library, where she found an unconscious Soso (Kimiko Glen). She gets an enthusiastic Suzanne (Uzo Adubo) and a reluctant Taystee (Danielle Brooks) to leave the movie to follow her back to the library. After realizing that Soso is still breathing, they decide not to get any of the C.O.’s for fear that she’d get sent to psyche, which Suzanne knows better than most is a pretty awful option. After Poussey shoves her fingers down Soso’s throat in the bathroom, they all feel reassured that she’s going to be okay.

After purging Soso of the Benadryl she’d mistaken for something more harmful, Poussey convinces the rest of Litchfield’s black clique to let Soso into the fold.  Janae (Vicky Jeudy), also poking fun at Cindy’s  (Adrienne C. Moore) continued to desire to convert to Judaism, calls them “a bunch of race-squatting carpet baggers.” As for Doggett, she ends up faking a seizure while driving Donuts when he tries to force her to pull over for sex. After crashing the vehicle and explaining her seizure symptoms, Doggett successfully gets pulled off van duty without any repercussions for herself. However, Maritza (Diane Guerrero) ends up taking over for her, causing Doggett to worry about her safety now.

Doggett’s former best pals Leanne (Emma Myles) and Angie (Julie Lake) are among the last remaining followers of Norma’s (Annie Golden) religion with Gina (Abigail Savage). Leanne seems the most desperate to keep the faith alive, and at lunch she manages to convince them all that she found Norma’s likeness in a piece of toast – restoring everyone’s faith in her divinity. Norma doesn’t seem entirely convinced but seems pleased enough to have their faith renewed. Red (Kate Mulgrew) is somewhat disgusted that Gina goes back to the cult as well. She’s among them as they give offerings to the Norma toast. The toast worship doesn’t last for long, as Poussey barges in to chastise Norma for letting Soso destroy herself and soon after Angie eats toast Norma. When Leanne goes to Norma later with some racist remarks, Norma turns her out, seeming to put an end to all the craziness.

On the other end of Litchfield’s faith exploration, Cindy is nearing the moment when she’ll try to prove to the rabbi that she genuinely wants to become a Jew. At first, it seems as though the rabbi has no intention of taking her seriously, and it’s questionable as to whether or not Cindy is actually taking herself seriously. But, after he denies her, Cindy explains completely in earnest through tears why she thinks that she’s found her people and her faith. It wins the rabbi over, who says all that she needs to officially become a Jew is a mikvah.

Meanwhile, Morello (Yael Stone) and her out-of-prison boyfriend Vince receive the sacrament of marriage. When Vince tried to break up with Morello, explaining that he had “Pauly D./J Woww 2010 kind of feelings” for her and that he’s afraid he’ll never be able to act on, she’d proposed to him and he’d gladly accepted. Morello’s vows during their ceremony include the lyrics to Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is.”  Though Litchfield doesn’t technically allow conjugal visits, the guards make an exception and let them go at it against the vending machine.

Felonious Panties is still in business, and Flaca (Jackie Cruz), whose mother is sick, wants back in to make money for her care. When she approaches Piper (Taylor Schilling), who calls Flaca “the sour panty Luco Brasi,” the benevolent wannabe Godfather agrees to take her back, but says that Flaca has to start at a lower rate than everyone else. Alex (Laura Prepon) overhears the conversation and tells Piper that letting back in the agitator is a bad business decision. When Piper tells Alex that it’s none of her business, and furthermore that firing Flaca was the reason Alex had broken up with her, Alex says she broke up with her because she was being gross, but now she’s being stupid.


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Still finding comfort and companionship in Stella (Ruby Rose), Piper allows her new Aussie friend to give her a tattoo of her choosing with her newly made tattoo gun. Though she had really wanted an infinity symbol, Stella inks “Trust No B—-” in white ink on Piper’s forearm. When Piper shows her brother her new tat during his visit, he shares some bad news with her – someone has stolen her money. Piper immediately assumes it’s Flaca, but soon realizes that it was Stella, who promises that she’ll make it up to her and that she only did it because she’ll have nothing once she gets released.

Piper seems to take the betrayal in stride, even bordering on forgiveness. Later in the day, she goes to visit Stella in her bunk and gives her a kiss goodbye. Stella reminds her that she’s got a couple of days left, but soon realizes the only place she’ll be going is max. Donaldson, on a tip about contraband, comes in with some of the other guards, who find a lighter, marijuana cigarettes, cigarettes, illegal chicken, a candy shiv and screw driver – all things that Piper found and planted.

While workers put in the new fence, they accidentally leave a gap in it. Norma spots it and runs towards it. Soon, the rest of Litchfield follows and, with no guards in sight, indulge in a day at the lake. Cindy even gets her mikvah. Missing from the moment of freedom are Alex and Piper. Piper is giving herself an infinity tattoo in the chapel, while Alex’s fate is being determined in the greenhouse, with Aiden poised to kill her.

 Orange Is The New Black Season Finale Odds & Ends

Healy decides to give up on his marriage, sick of coming home to a woman who feels imprisoned after dealing with real prisoners all day.

Daya thanks Aleida for keeping her child and sending her with Cesar, not knowing that Cesar got busted for heroin and that her child is on her way to protective services.

Mendoza continues to feel badly about Bursett.

Caputo tries to get Bursett out of prison by going up against MCC, but ends up joining them.

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