Singer Noah Cyrus is opening up about her addiction to Xanax, a brand name for the prescription drug alprazolam, used to treat anxiety and panic disorders.
The 22-year-old said she first took the drug after her boyfriend gave it to her.
“My boyfriend at the time, when I was 18, was the first person that gave me a Xanax, and it became a way for us to bond,” Cyrus told Rolling Stone. “I think I wanted to fit in with him. I wanted to be what he wanted and what he thought was cool and what I thought everybody was doing.”
“Once I felt that it was possible to silence things out for a second and numb your pain, it was over,” she added. “It just kind of becomes this dark pit, bottomless pit.”
She recalled her lowest moment when she began to pass out during a television interview that never aired. “I was completely nodding off and falling asleep, and unable to keep my head up or keep my eyes open, because I was so far gone,” she recalled.
The drug not only affected her career, but it also affected her relationships with her grandmother Loretta, who died in August 2020, her grieving mother Tish Cyrus, and other family members.
“I felt so guilty for not being there when my grandma died. I was there physically, but emotionally, I was not there. I couldn’t be,” Cyrus said.
“That was my big eye-opener: I was sitting alone, and I was scared, and I realized that all the people that I love and all the people that I need, I was the one pushing them away,” she said.
Cyrus, the younger sister of Miley Cyrus, went into recovery shortly following her grandmother’s death. Quitting Xanax has now given her a fresh perspective on her life.
“I wake up in the mornings, and I’m able to look in a mirror and go on about my day without hating myself,” she said. “I’m able to comfort myself and nurture myself.”
Cyrus’ debut album The Hardest Part will be available on September 16.
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