ROME, ITALY - OCTOBER 19: (EDITORS NOTE: Image has been converted to black and white.) Lily Collins attends the 'Love, Rosie' Red Carpet during the 9th Rome Film Festival on October 19, 2014 in Rome, Italy. (Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)
British-American actress and model Lily Collins penned an open letter forgiving her father Phil Collins in her new book, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me. The book is a collection of personal essays focusing on topics such as body image, relationships, family, dating and much more.
In the open letter, Lily wrote: “I forgive you for not always being there when I needed and for not being the dad I expected. I forgive the mistakes you made. And although it may seem like it’s too late, it’s not. There’s still so much time to move forward.”
Her parents, Phil Collins and Genesis drummer Jill Tavelman, divorced in 1994 after he allegedly sent a breakup fax. Lily was 5 at the time of the divorce, and her father then moved from England to Switzerland. Phil had his own memoir, titled Not Dead Yet, which covers his affairs and struggles with alcoholism.
In her book, she attributes many of her issues as arising from problems with her dad.
“I couldn’t handle the pain and confusion surrounding my dad’s divorce, and I was having a hard time balancing being a teenager with pursuing two different grown-up careers,” she wrote. “Many of my deepest insecurities stem from these issues with my dad.”
She ended the open letter with a tone of forgiveness, writing, “We all make choices and, although I don’t excuse some of yours, at the end of the day we can’t rewrite the past. I’m learning how to accept your actions and vocalize how they made me feel. I accept and honor the sadness and anger I felt toward the things you did or didn’t do, did or didn’t give me.”
Lily’s Unfiltered was released Tuesday (March 7), and she hopes it will inspire young readers, especially to help them reach out to their own fathers.
“Even if they’re listening, sometimes our dads still don’t truly hear what we’re saying,” she wrote. “So feel free to read this letter to your dad or use it as a guide to write your own … All you can do is stay true and tell him how you feel.”
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