Monica Lewinsky has remained somewhat enigmatic since the late 90s when her affair with the then President Bill Clinton was scrutinized both in an impeachment trial and in the media. Nearly two decades later, Lewinsky is breaking her silence.

Monica Lewinsky Puts Clinton Scandal Behind Her

Lewinsky, 40, believes it’s time to put the scandal behind her, address the rumors and to make clear her contrition for her part in the act that rocked the presidency, and consequently, the country. “It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress,” wrote Lewinsky for Vanity Fair. “I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.”

No, the Clintons never bribed her to keep quiet over the last several years. The reason she’s talking now is because she wants to break down the image of her created during the scandal and create a new one. Furthermore, she was inspired by the death of Tyler Clementi, the gay Rutgers University student who took his own life after he was spied on while kissing another man, to take a stand against “online humiliation and harassment.”

“Thanks to the Drudge Report, I was also possibly the first person whose global humiliation was driven by the Internet,” wrote Lewinsky, who revealed that she’s had to fight suicidal thoughts and has consistently struggled to secure employment.

Lewinsky Calls Affiar 'Consensual Relationship'

Lewinsky maintains her affair with Clinton was consensual – though certainly improper due to his clear position of power. It wasn’t the relationship itself that traumatized her; it was the way she was treated in the aftermath of the affair becoming public knowledge.

“Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship. Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position," she wrote. "The Clinton administration, the special prosecutor’s minions, the political operatives on both sides of the aisle, and the media were able to brand me. And that brand stuck, in part because it was imbued with power.”

In a more humorous part of her essay, Lewinsky dares to correct Queen Beyonce about a lyric in her recent track “Partition.” She writes, “Thanks, Beyoncé, but if we’re verbing, I think you meant ‘Bill Clinton’d all on my gown,’ not ‘Monica Lewinsky’d.’”

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