Justin Bieber’s arrest served as the primary punch line for late night hosts' opening monologues on Thursday night. Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, David Letterman and Jay Leno all gleefully took aim at the pop star’s latest – and worst – brush with the law.
Kimmel was on a roll with the Bieber jokes, referencing Lindsay Lohan, Bieber’s grandparents, Rob Ford, his sagging pants, his cheery mug shot and his erstwhile bowl cut. He also introduced the misde-beiber pun, when wondering if the “Beauty and a Beat” singer would be charged with a felony or misdemeanor.
"Just when the streets are finally safe from Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber was arrested in Miami Beach early this morning… and he's in trouble with his grandparents for not stopping by to visit while he was in town," Kimmel joked on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Kimmel continued to say that Bieber "admitted to police that he drank alcohol, smoked pot, and took prescription drugs that night. Which, I think that's may have just been his way of announcing that he's running for mayor of Toronto."
"He failed a field sobriety test. Well, of course he failed a field sobriety test—the kid's pants are halfway down around his ankles!” Kimmel continued. “How's he supposed to walk a straight line?"
When it came to the mug shot, Kimmel, like many on Twitter, took aim at Bieber’s bright smile while standing in his orange prison outfit. "Justin was booked, and then he had a big event, a major life milestone: he took his very first mug shot! There you go. That's the smile of a boy who does not need to call his mommy for bail money."
Concluding his monologue, Kimmel mused, "I wonder where it all went wrong for Justin Bieber? Just a few years ago, he was a cute little kid with a bowl haircut. Now he's a drunk-driving, egg throwing, drag racing hooligan."
By comparison, Fallon’s jokes on Bieber were tame. "Poor guy. I don't know. He's in some trouble, man. He was arrested today in Miami for drag racing and drunk driving in a rented Lamborghini, which is pretty surprising when you hear that the only race car he'd been in before that was his bed," the host quipped on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. "He's facing a pretty stiff penalty. They're saying he could get up to two years of being his own neighbor, which is just awful. It's just awful. You don't want that."
Letterman opted to use Bieber’s arrest for his Top 10 List, in which every single item had to do with the 19-year-old:
10. Out of options, Bieber seeks asylum in Russia.
9. Justin Bieber, sick of himself, kicks own ass.
8. Singer changes name to Bustin Jieber
7. Justin and wife welcome first biebie
6. Bieber loses modeling deal to 19-year-old from Seattle
5. Jury enters third day of belieberations
4. Bieber, Kardashian married
3. Bieber, Kardashian finalize divorce
2. Mayor Rob Ford names Bieber Chief of Police
1. Justin tweets photo of his Bieber
"President Obama announced today that America's No. 1 domestic terrorist has been apprehended," Leno deadpanned on The Tonight Show. "They finally arrested Justin Bieber, ladies and gentlemen. He is in custody! … We don't have to live in fear anymore!"
Then Leno, a known car enthusiast, took a jab at Justin’s idea of drag racing. "Justin was caught going 60 miles per hour a Lamborghini," Leno cracked. "Oooh, 60 miles per hour in a Lamborghini. Hey, Justin! It's called second gear — try it some time."
– Chelsea Regan
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