Karrueche Tran opened up about her tumultuous relationship with Chris Brown in a new interview with OWN’s Iyanla Vanzant on Saturday.

Karrueche Tran on OWN’s Iyanla: Fix My Life

Tran recently ended her five-year, on-and-off relationship with Brown after news that he had a nine-month-old baby with model Nia Amey, broke in early March. Her sit down interview with OWN’s self-help guru Vanzant marked her first post-breakup interview, and Tran opened up about her relationship with Brown and revealed how she heard the baby news.

Vanzant sat Tran down for tea and conversation on her show, Iyanla: Fix My Life. Vanzant asked Tran plenty of questions, seemingly trying to get Tran to realize she never should have dated Brown in the first place. “How did we get to this place where you and I are sitting on this sofa today because you feel the need to explain who you are as a result of who you dated?” Vanzant asked.

Tran revealed that she met Brown five years ago, when she was working as a stylist’s assistant. The two famously began dating in 2011 after Brown’s relationship with Rihanna fell apart following his arrest for domestic assault. Their relationship lasted until Rihanna took Brown back, something Tran clearly did not want to talk about. She did, however, reveal that she had tricked herself into believing Brown and Rihanna were just friends until she stumbled upon a photo of the two singers cuddling courtside at a Lakers game in 2012. After Brown and Rihanna’s brief reconciliation, Brown returned to Tran and the two have been on-and-off ever since.

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A photo posted by karrueche (@karrueche) on Nov 1, 2014 at 11:36am PDT

Throughout the revealing interview, Tran was careful not to bash Brown, admitting that she still loved him. As Vanzant pointed out, Tran appeared to want to “fix” Brown, which Vanzant said was a classic relationship mistake made by young women. “I saw a different side of Chris that not everybody sees. Although he’s done whatever he’s done… he’s a good-hearted person,” Tran insisted.

Karreuche Tran On Chris Brown Baby Drama

Tran recounted to Vanzant that she first learned her boyfriend had fathered a child with another woman through social media, when the news broke on March 4. Tran claimed that Brown had texted her telling her he wanted to speak with her, and has since told her that he wanted to be the one to break the news her. “He wanted to talk in person… Actually the moment that I found out, he texted me, telling me he needed to talk to me in person, and then I went online,” Tran said.

It’s unclear whether or not Brown was aware he had a baby before the news broke online, but since the news has become public, Brown has been open about his desire to be a present father. It’s rumored that Brown is prepared to move his baby mama, Amey, and his daughter, Royal, to L.A. so he can be closer to them. Regardless of whether he kept the news a secret from Tran, he certainly cheated on her.

“The man I loved hurt me and betrayed me,” Tran said, crying. The aspiring actress added that she and Brown had talked about starting a family, but she wanted to be married before having a baby. “We’ve talked about having kids, and I’ve told him, we need to get married first.… I want that commitment,” Tran revealed.

When asked if she would go back to him, Tran shook her head, saying, “There’s no making up right now.… I’m trying to be my strongest, and I understand what he’s put me through, and I’m fed up.”

Before the segment aired on television, Tran took to Instagram to address her fans and explain her reasons for participating in the personal interview. “This is about recognizing my mistakes and learning from them. I own up to all the poor choices I have made and pray for the better.… I only ask that you at least understand me, whether you continue to like me or hate me. At the end of the day, we all have not been at our best at times so please learn from me and never forget to love yourself.”