Justin Bieber Comedy Central Roast: The Best Jokes
Justin Bieber was on the receiving end of some pretty vicious jokes and even dished out a couple zingers of his own on The Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber.
Best Jokes At Justin Bieber Roast:
Comedians Kevin Hart, Pete Davidson and Jeff Ross were all on hand to celebrate and trash Bieber’s career as a pop star and tabloid darling. Also on hand were surprisingly funny non-comedians Martha Stewart and Shaquille O’Neal, all of whom took turns making fun of the pop star and each other.
Many of the best jokes of the night came at Bieber’s expense. Will Ferrell as Anchorman’s Ron Burgundy made a short appearance at the roast, delivering one of the best lines of the night: “This kid has spunk, moxie, and probably a few other STDs, okay?”
Bieber and his family were all fair game, with many of the comedians throwing out jokes about his parents.
“I’m proud of you. You have it all. You literally are a guy who has it all – except for respect, love, friends, good parents and a Grammy.” – Chris D’Elia
“Justin, you know, I lost my dad on 9/11, and I always regretted growing up without a dad…until I met your dad, Justin. Now I’m glad mine’s dead.” – Pete Davidson
Another popular topic at the roast: Bieber’s famous exes, specifically Selena Gomez.
“Selena Gomez couldn’t be here tonight. Just because she didn’t want to be here,” joked Hart.
“Selena Gomez wanted to he here, but she’s dating a man now,” Ross added after aptly calling Bieber “the King Joffrey of pop.”
Even Bieber’s beloved fans, known as Bielibers, weren’t safe. Natasha Leggero ripped into his fans, joking, “Justin’s fans are called Beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards.”
Hart also took a jab at Bielibers, saying, “Bieber has 10 million fans – most are in middle schools…or standing at least 500 feet away from one.”
With Hannibal Buress participating in the roast, his now famous take down of Bill Cosby in his standup routine was also a favorite topic of the night.
“Justin, I don’t like your music. I think it’s bad, man. I hate your music…I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy,” Buress told Bieber.
Buress’ fellow comedians also brought up Bill Cosby during their sets:
“Congratulations Hannibal Buress, you are the only Bill Cosby accuser making money off of him.” – Snoop Dogg
“Hannibal Buress is famous for exposing Cosby. He’s only famous for exposing Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby hurt those women without ever caring about the consequences…that Hannibal Buress would become famous.” – Pete Davidson
Justin Bieber Apologizes To Fans
The night ended on a more serious note with an apology from the Biebs himself. “I’m a kindhearted person who loves people, and through it all I’ve lost some of my best qualities. For that, I’m sorry. What I can say is that I’m looking forward to being someone that you guys can all look at and be proud of, someone you can smile at and see some of yourself in,” Bieber said.
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