FUNNY: Twitter Users Send Ironic Columbus Day Wishes

Similar to just about every other national holiday, Columbus Day has a rich and colorful history. It was celebrated as early as 1792, became official under President Frankin D. Roosevelt in 1937, and then in 1972 got moved to the second Monday in October. Often told in a narrative emphasizing Columbus' challenging of the status quo ("The earth is round, not flat!"), the story of him discovering America teaches young children such values as persistence, sharing and thinking differently. Columbus was the original Steve Jobs, right?

Well, not exactly. In our postcolonial world, we know Columbus didn't really "discover" America — it's more like he stole it from the Native Americans. That's the basis of most of the jokes circulating around Twitter today, which in various formations essentially read, "Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by walking into someone's house and claiming you own it." Just as common are a series of hot-faced rebuttals along the lines of: "Why are you mad at Columbus? Revoke your citizenship if you're not grateful for his discovery!"

It's almost as if you can sniff out which presidential candidate a user supports based on the content of his or her Columbus Day message, which is why we appreciate the following ten tweets. Whether you're lucky enough to have the day off, or lucky enough to have encountered easy traffic on your way to the office this morning, there's something here for you to laugh about.

10. "Thank you Columbus for discovering this day off!" —Jeannie Gaffigan

9. "Reminder: It's Columbus Day. Metered parking is free today. Go spend that change on a 40 or something." Cleveland_Scene

8. "My company gave us Columbus Day off. So I'm here at the movies to finally see The Help." —Estela Martinez

7. "Columbus Day is like April Fools Day, except the pranks occur over hundreds of years and are infinitely sadder." —Mike Drucker

6. "If I had my way we'd sleep every night all wrapped around each other like hibernating rattlesnakes. -Christopher Columbus." —Dan Telfer

5. "Does anyone know why there would be a Michael Jackson impersonator on a Columbus day float?" —Chris Burns

4. "Columbus Day in Columbus, Ohio must be the sh*t. Fireworks, f**king in the streets, mimes… I hope I see it someday…." —Rob Delaney

3. "As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions." —Bryan Choate

2. "Happy Columbus Day! I hope everyone takes the day to appreciate our country and of course, look for new continents." —Ellen DeGeneres

1. "This Columbus Day, let's commemorate a voyage that was even more poorly planned than a Netflix announcement." —Someecards.com