Categories: News

FUNNY 5: The 'Bain' Of Romney's Average Guy Campaign

Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has won both the Iowa caucus and the New Hampshire primary, meaning that enough plenty of people in at least two U.S. states are buying his message that he "knows what it's like" to face normal, common, average Joe American problems such as, you know, identifying the difference between a demitasse and a caviar spoon or, gee, deciding whether to accept KKR's offer of $1.9 billion for Dade International or wait and see if something bigger comes along.

We've all been there, right?

While at Bain Capital from 1984 to 1999, Romney lived what any fool can see was a regular guy's life. He made his own copies, picked up his own lunch and forced himself to stare at "cheap, spartan office decorations," according to the New York Times. Heck, he even had to worry about finding the old "pink slip" on his $20 Ikea desktop [insert Romney's signature Scrooge McDuck chuckle].

It's so unfair that all these elite liberal media types are criticizing Romney for being out of touch with average Americans. When will these bloggers, tweeters and YouTubers stop saying "gotcha" every five seconds and instead wake up to the realization that every blessed trait coded directly into our own DNA (not-Herman Cain, not-Michele Bachmann, not-Rick Perry, not-Newt Gingrich, etc.) is right there in his DNA, too.

Here are some highlights of what "the media" is saying about Romney's time at Bain:

1. Romney is named the "Tool of the Week" on the Alyona Show. Watch these clips of Romney as he laughs it up in a Florida coffee shop, joking about feeling the pain of others who are unemployed. Later, in a speech to a New Hampshire crowd, Romney discusses the anxiety he felt at the thought of being given a "pink slip" during his time at Bain Capital.

2. Someone cruelly put together a compilation of Romney's most awkward moments on video:

3. Even liberal elite zombies are coming after him! Yes, zombies:

4. For no reason, they're saying Charlie Brown and his pals are more mature:

5. They're making a cartoon out of him. A cartoon! Poor people laugh at those. They're laughing at how poor he his!

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