When Mike Cassesso and MaiLien Le's plans to get married at the Jefferson Memorial on Saturday were thwarted by the government shutdown, Stephen Colbert stepped in to offer to marry them on The Colbert Report.
“The 2013 Government Shutdown Wedding of the Century,” as dubbed by Colbert, began with Cassesso and his groomsmen partaking of an expedited bachelor party complete with a “Bros before hoes” cheer. Tammy the stripper, who served the shots, was ushered off due to a lack of time. And unfortunately, Cassesso’s best man couldn’t show up, but that was okay – furloughed Smokey the Bear was available.
After Colbert introduced Le’s bridesmaids, he threw them an abbreviated bachelorette party. Not only did they get shots, they got Colbert for a stripper. After the rings were brought up to the makeshift alter, it’ was time for the bride to walk down the aisle – but she was a no show. “The bride’s not coming,” shouted a man in a panda costume before the camera panned to a shocked Colbert and bridal party.
Backstage, Colbert found Le and gave her a pep talk. "Listen, if Mike is not right for you, we will blow out of here and go get tattoos, just say the word," he told her, before walking back and insisting she go through with the wedding for his sake. "Don't you ruin this for me, this is my special day, Ok? I have been dieting for like 15 minutes,” he said. “You're gonna be fine, you're gonna be great, but it doesn't matter because everyone's going to be looking at me, Ok?"
Once the blushing bride met her husband on Colbert’s altar, Mandy Patinkin gave a “nondenominational Jewish blessing” for the newlyweds. After saying it was a blessing that “celebrates new beginnings,” Patinkin plugged the “beginnings” of Homeland’s third season.
Following their vows, Cassesso and Le had their first dance to the sounds of Audra McDonald singing a ballad version of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” – which is thought to have been written about Idol’s sister who got impregnated by her fiancé prior to the wedding, much to the singer’s displeasure.
The Cassesso and Le nuptials are likely just the beginning of Colbert’s satire-filled segments about the government shutdown that doesn’t look to have an end in sight.
– Chelsea Regan
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