Cleary Wolters was living and working in Cincinnati two years ago when she saw a promo for Orange is the New Black – and Laura Prepon playing a version of her in Alex Vause.

Cleary Wolters On ‘Orange Is The New Black’

Wolters had read Piper Kerman‘s memoir Orange is the New Black, but was not aware that the book was going to be adapted for TV. Realizing that Kerman’s real life story and the inspiration for the characters, namely Alex, would soon make her headline fodder, Wolters worried about how it would impact her daily life, including her job at a software company.

“I’ll be the infamous lesbian drug smuggler having sex in their living room!” Wolters told People magazine, speaking of her fears.

Wanting to share her point of view of the saga between her and Kerman and prison life in general, Wolters has published her own memoir, titled Out of Orange. In Out of Orange, Wolters talks about the strange experience of watching Orange is the New Black when it came out on Netflix in 2013.

“The experience [of binge-watching OITNB] was weirdly personal. The characters who played prison staff were dead-on: we had the same nasty guards, the same evil prison executives. But almost everything regarding the character of Alex was pure fiction,” Wolters writes. “After finishing the show I felt exposed, like people were watching me and saying, “It’s her!” But that wasn’t me. Aside from being tall and gorgeous, Alex Vause was missing some vital ingredients: regret, contrition, faith, and hope.”

Out of Orange gives Wolters the chance to separate fact from fiction, reality from creative license. “I wanted to correct the concept that I was singularly responsible for Piper’s downfall,” said Wolters, who admits that she had some questionable morals when she got wrapped up in drug smuggling. She also admits that she did name Kerman under questioning and that her former girlfriend probably wouldn’t have found herself in prison had she not had a relationship with her. But, she also notes that Kerman never did anything against her will.

“Everyone told on everyone. Of 14, only one defendant failed to do a plea agreement,” Wolters told People. “If she hadn’t met me, she probably wouldn’t have gone to jail. I feel bad for that, but the people involved were people who wanted to be.”

Wolters, in addition to the portrayal of herself, takes issue with the portrayal of prison life in Orange is the New Black. “If prison were really like that, there would be a line to get in. Lesbian sex everywhere you go? Parties in the cafeteria? It’s entertainment,” she says, explaining that she hopes her book gives more of a grim view of prison and a cautionary tale for following the path she did.

Out of Orange is currently available in hardcover and e-book.