Brittany Maynard, the 29-year-old terminal cancer patient, implied in a video on Wednesday that she likely won’t be sticking to her plan to end her life on Saturday, Nov. 1.
"If November 2 has come along and I’ve passed, I hope my family is still proud of me and the choices I made," Maynard said in a new video. "And if Nov. 2 comes along and I’m still alive, I know that we’ll just still be moving forward as a family out of love for each other, and that the decision will come later."
Maynard, who recently crossed visiting the Grand Canyon off her bucket list, explained that though her illness is worsening, she continues to have moments that make her life worth living. "I still feel good enough and I still have enough joy and I still laugh and smile with my family and friends enough that it doesn't seem like the right time," she explained. "Right now. But, it will come because I feel myself getting sicker. It's happening each week."
While Maynard has received a lot of support, she's also fielding questions and comments about how she doesn't "seem" all that sick. She says that her appearance is deceiving, noting, "Most recently, my most terrifying set of seizures was about a week or so ago. I had two in a day, which was unusual, and I remember looking at my husband's face at one point thinking, 'I know this is my husband and I can't say his name.'"
At this point, Maynard's greatest fear is waiting too long to use her right to die and losing her autonomy. "Since January 1st of my diagnosis, health-wise things have been getting worse," she said. "The worst thing that happens to me is I wait too long because I'm trying to seize each day and I lose my autonomy."
The goal of making her terminal diagnosis and decision to have control over when she dies public is to spread awareness for Compassion & Choices, which endeavors to spread "death with dignity" movements to more states across the nation. "I find meaning and take pride that the Compassion & Choices movement is accelerating rapidly," Maynard says towards the end of her tearful video. "Thanks to supporters like you."
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