American Horror Story: Cult is on its third episode of the season, and it is possibly turning out to be one of the least subtle seasons of the series.


The show opens in phobia therapist Dr. Rudy Vincent’s office as he “cures” a patient from her phobia of coffins. But upon following her and her husband home, we find a gaggle of clowns ready to lock them both into matching his and hers coffins. The credits roll.

Back to our main character Ally, who was seen last week accidentally shoot her friendly sous chef Pedro because he scared her when she was freaking out during a power outage. Turns out she won’t face any jail time thanks to Michigan’s stand-your-ground laws. Protestors form a picket line outside her home and label her “a lesbian George Zimmerman.” “How does it feel to exercise your white privilege and murder people of color with impunity?” yell her crazy neighbors, the Wiltons.

The rest of the episode goes on to be a laundry list of terrible things that happen to Ally as a result of her wrongdoing. An unmarked trunk mysteriously sprays an unknown liquid onto her lawn, a man enters her living room and masturbates because someone (presumably the Wiltons) posted a fake ad for a skeevy website with Ally’s address, and the protests intensify. The Wiltons then gift Ally’s son Ozzy a guinea pig named Mr. Guinea, explaining that “he needs a man in his life! He’s drowning in white privilege and estrogen over there,” apparently referring to said guinea pig as a man.

Meanwhile, creepy kid Kai tells the Wilton wife Meadow that “everything is somebody else’s fault from now on. You want to matter, then make the world wrong,” he adds.

Ally and Ivy are getting along and let Ozzy keep Mr. Guinea. They enjoy a nice family dinner out, but that is shattered when they return home and find an eerily smiley face painted on their door. When they enter the house, they find Ozzy’s new pet has been microwaved and killed. Ally storms over to the Wiltons and threatens them. As she walks back, she sees the men from the mystery chemical truck back again, and sees they are wearing masks. She confronts them, rips off a mask, only to find that underneath is another mask.

Back inside, Ozzy’s computer has gotten some sort of “virus” that shows a video of Ally and Winter engaging in a sexually-charged sponge bath via hidden camera in their own bathroom. Instead of questioning the validity of the video, Ivy declares that she is taking Ozzy and leaving. And outside, Harrison Wilton is in their driveway in his underwear, bloody and screaming at police officers that his wife is missing, and is blaming none other than Ally and Ivy. He is finally tackled to the ground, and the camera shows a newly painted smiley on the wall inside the Wilton’s blood-spattered house.

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