Nick Offerman plays the role of America-loving Ron Swanson in the NBC comedy Parks and Recreation. Swanson loves America so much that the Internet pretty much pegs him as the most American man in memes. So when it came time for NBC to promote their NASCAR coverage, it wasn’t much of a surprise that they turned to Offerman to give the USA a little pep talk.

“America, it’s time for a gut check,” Offerman proclaims. “If the founding fathers saw us huddled up in our little cocoons texting each other smiley faces, they’d hang their powdered wigs in shame. When our idea of danger is eating gluten, there’s trouble afoot. Yes, we the people have gotten soft and all the likes in the world aren’t gonna save us now. But one thing will… and it rhymes with MASCAR.”

Offerman goes on to tell us all the ways NASCAR can help toughen back up America. Examples including bumping and grinding “in a non-sexual way,” every driver winning trophies “as long as they win the f—ing race,” and dressing up the whole family in firesuits for photos before hugging his kids and kissing his wife. Don’t think you’d belong at a NASCAR race? Don’t worry, Offerman says everyone’s welcome – even “his friend in an American flag thong.” If that wasn’t enough, how about cars that go “200 miles per freakin’ hour” with “700 freakin’ horse freakin’ power?” Offerman’s prescription for the USA is that and much more in what should be one of the funnier commercials you’ll see this Super Bowl.

Although NBC’s NASCAR coverage doesn’t start until July, they’re looking to promote all the events they have with the spotlight on them for the Super Bowl. And with Offerman’s comedy, viewers won’t soon forget that NASCAR’s returning to the network later this season.

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