Jets’ QB Aaron Rodgers Says Voices In His Head Told Him He’s ‘A Terrible Person’ While On Ayahuasca

The new Netflix docuseries, Aaron Rodgers: Enigma, follows NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers and his return to the field after he tore his Achilles. 

The three-part series examines the intricacies of Rodgers’ life off the field. In addition to focusing on Rodgers’s rebound from the injury, a prominent theme in Enigma is Rodgers’s complicated relationship with success, fame, perfectionism and spirituality throughout his life.

Speaking about how he found ways to combat his inner emotional battles, Rodgers attributed his current peaceful headspace to the revelations he experienced while on the drug ayahuasca. He explained the sacred experience and noted that he enjoyed the process most when surrounded by other individuals embarking on a spiritual journey with him.

Rodgers said, “Plant medicine has been a big teacher for me for self-love, to learn how to love myself better.”

The hallucinogenic drink ayahuasca, which is made by decocting stems of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub, has been used culturally to guide individuals through introspective journeys of self-exploration. It originated in Brazil, Peru, Ecuador and Columbia, and is used in multiple religions as a way to connect to a greater spiritual dimension.

Rodgers continued, “The feeling you get when you can be raw and vulnerable with men is special.” He reflected on the challenges that come with upholding an alpha male presence on the field and balancing a more peaceful, reflective perspective throughout life.

Rodgers remembered his first experience with ayahuasca, when he was in Costa Rica, as being “really, really rough” since, for the first time, he was confronted by the actualization of his deepest fears. He recounted how voices in his head began to argue about who he was and say that he was a terrible person, and “It wasn’t until the end” that he finally realized, “Fine. You win. I’m tired of fighting. Yes, I am those things. And I just said, ‘See, you’re unlovable.’ I sat with that for awhile…[But] the medicine said, ‘Why can’t you love yourself? If you don’t believe that you deserve the love, you sure as hell can’t receive it.”

The first episode of Aaron Rodgers: Enigma was released on December 17.

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